Grief.

My heart was saddened as I scrolled through Facebook last night. One status update after the other... repeatedly proclaiming victory and excitement over the death of Osama bin Laden. I have two things to say about this.

1. God is a just God. I love this. I love that God brings justice upon His people to bring further glory upon Himself.
2. There is absolutely nothing happy or joyous about the death of a non-believer. It grieves my heart to know that this man (however evil he might have been) is going to spend eternity rotting in the depths of hell instead of sitting at the feet of Jesus.

How can we sit and rejoice over the loss of a life from the Kingdom of Heaven?

Instead, I'm rejoicing that I serve a just God and thanking Him for saving me from a life of slavery to sin.

Thank you, Jesus.

Love.

I wish you could meet my friend, Emma. There's is no seventeen year old woman that I admire and respect more than her. She's talented, hilarious, and serious about the time she spends with Jesus. She has a gorgeous smile, an adorable laugh, and dark, mocha eyes. She volunteers at the hospital once a week, and cherishes her family time. She thinks about others first, and has an eye for photography. We both have a thing for a great love story, babies, and hearing of God's faithfulness. My dear friend is traveling the world this week. She's in Paris right now, then headed to Israel. Jealous, much? haha. But as she is gone, I am able to pray more intently for her, and reflect on the great gift she is. Recently, I was thinking about a time when sweet Emma showed me what unconditional love looks like at its best... sit down for a bit. Let me brag about my sister :)

I've decided the weight of a mistake never feels heavier than when I'm trying to sleep at night. Sometimes it's an uncomfortable heavy... as if I ate way too much at a restaurant. Other times it's like my comforter is made of concrete, like my mind is a surround-sound theater that keeps playing the words I shouldn't have said or the moment I talked myself into doing something I knew I shouldn't have done.
It was a night like that, when all the thoughts in my head seemed as loud as thundering skies over the house. Luckily, it was summer. No school to wake up to come morning, no agenda for the following day... so I got up. I grabbed my phone and went outside. It was dark, but we were at the lake... the water was calming and the bugs were somehow reassuring. I called Emma. We attempted small talk. I even told her about the amazing day I had the day before. Finally, I knew something needed to be said. The unspoken barrier (that was caused 100% by me) between us just couldn't be there anymore. I sat down in a chair outside, and watched the few lone pieces of grass sway and struggle as I stumbled over my words. I'm pretty sure I didn't even take a breath until I was done talking. When I finally finished and Emma's words followed, in that moment I realized another one of the million things I love about her~ There's nothing judgmental about the way she loves. We talked and laughed for a while, and then Emma asked me if I wanted to pray. In my groggy I'm-finally-exhausted-voice, I agreed with a full, peaceful heart. That evening, we were on our knees side by side yet hundreds of miles away, praising God for who He was. Emma talks to Jesus with an uncanny sense of reverence and love. There is sweetness mixed with her respect, and as I listened as she prayed for me, my mom and my dad in serious detail. Everything I had ranted about for weeks, my best friend was lifting up in prayer. It doesn't take a genius, or even a night owl, to see Emma genuinely loves meeting with God... and she genuinely, unconditionally loves her family and friends. Accountability and transparency with another person can replace a constant freaked-out feeling with complete peace.
When I was doing my devotions today, all I could think about was praying with my dear friend that hot and muggy June night almost a year ago. I hope you have someone in your life like that, too. If there's something happening in your world, or something that has happened that makes your heart feel like a brick inside your chest when you try to sleep at night, it's good to talk through those issues.
James 5:16 says we should be confessing our sins to one another and praying for each other. In Titus 2, Paul talks about how important it is for women to mentor other women. I've been blessed by some wonderful women who pour into my life on a regular basis.
The more you grow, the more you should be intentional about pouring love into other people's lives. It's wonderful to realize you aren't alone in any season of your life. Sometimes just knowing someone will listen and pray with you gives you the push you need to keep moving. For what it's worth, Emma and I pray for YOU, too. Yes, you. Sometimes I just say a name or a situation, and we pray fervently before our ever-so-gracious God. We pray for the ways you're growing, the decisions you're making, and your relationships. We're always thanking God for you and the way you're turning this world upside down with His love.
In fact, today I am thankful for love. I'm thankful for love that's brighter and more beautiful than spring days and more peaceful than April showers. I'm thanking Him for that perfect, unconditional love that offers new starts and forgiveness and peaceful sleep when my mind is restless. I'm SO thankful I get to see that love in my sister, my friend, Emma. I'm thankful that together we get to walk this road with Jesus and watch Him move and work and breathe life into our friends.

I am praying today that I can make someone feel as safe and loved as she always makes me feel.

I love you, Emmy. I'm thinking of you while you are gone, and am so thankful for you who are :)

Hugs and kisses,
Lyss

Dreaming.

I want to get an "A" on this physiology exam today.
I want to make the most of these last few months of my first year of college.
I want to cherish every moment this summer with special family and sweet friends.
I want to get accepted into the nursing program and pursue pediatrics.
I want to get married to a Godly man who loves Jesus more than me.
I want to be DAILY pursuing God's heart together in my marriage.
I want to adopt children and save them from destruction and potential poverty.
I want to carry babies in my womb and praise God for new life.
I want to watch God grow my family, and worship Him every step of the way.
I want to be radically living for my Savior and passionately loving Him and the people He so graciously created.
I want to get back on the stage and sing and act and dance.
I want to be a peace-maker, and joy-dispenser.
I want to have NO control over my life.
I want to be immersed in the words of my Father.
I want to be surrounded by truth.
I want to be speaking life into dry ground.
I want to be resting nowhere but His will, a will that is so beyond my largest notions of what He is up to.
I want to be sacrificing SELF.
I want to have fun, and have the imagination of youth.
I want to write. LOTS.
I want to be actively involved in church and community.
I want to remain pure in motive and thought.
I want to be wise with my money.
I want to be a good listener.
I want to honor Jesus in my speech.
I want to have a prayer life that rocks my world.
I want to be a mover and a shaker.
I want to never settle for anything less than a holy life devoted to bringing Christ glory.
I want to dream God's dreams for me.

I want to pursue HIS heart. My God is enough for me :)

Life across the Border.

Oh goodness, my brain is a swirly mess of meaningless thoughts, deep insights, and joy. The fast few weeks have been ones chocked full of emotion and memories with special people.
I crossed the border last week to spend nine days in desolate villages desperate for medical care and the love of Jesus. It was a breathtaking time of giving and pouring out into His loved people. Our team was able to come in contact with a myriad of people, ranging in age... all with smiles as wide as the sea, and happiness leaking out from their eyes. The language barrier seemed to fade away with each tight embrace and look of thanks. At the end of each day, exhaustion set in and our team looked grimy and rugged. Looking at pictures from the week, I'm beginning to think that's when Jesus saw us as most beautiful. The sweat, the dirt, the wrinkles, the frizz... it's a sign of service, of sacrifice, of love. In our messiness, we were able to lift up praises and beg Jesus for healing... play with children in the sand and dirt... cry with mothers... rejoice with men as they receive glasses and are able to read... smile at the sweet baby with sad eyes... watch families do back-breaking work for close to no payment... meet fellow believers and offer up our humble worship in separate languages... and laugh with excitement at the thought of making more memories as a team.
Our messiness is God's beautiful. I one hundred percent believe that with my whole heart.
I saw, experienced, and felt things this last week that will forever have an impact on the way I serve my incredible Jesus. I was taught that messiness is OKAY. In fact, it's beautiful. God USES messiness. While physical messiness is very much included in this, and there is incredible beauty in allowing yourself to literally sit in dirt, slave in the sun, and get paint in your hair... I'm talking about the deep, ugly messiness that we all carry. The secret, most intimate parts of us that are scary, painful, shameful, and vulnerable. The MESSY parts. I saw this week that God wants those parts of us, too. He wants those scary, painful, shameful, vulnerable pieces of us. I saw the RAW beauty that comes from allowing God to have complete control over a life, even the messy parts.
Messy is beautiful. God works in messiness.
I think also of our team. Ten BREATHTAKING girls who journeyed together across the border to serve. God orchestrated moments, memories, and conversations that I never could've dreamed or planned. Because of His love for us, He allowed our team to grow together and enjoy time spent with one another. Our team consists of a small but fierce "ghetto" sweetie, an organized leader who does a legit British accent, a master story-teller with a heart for service, a Happy Birthday song genius with a perpetual smile, the hardest worker I know who literally had to be pulled away to rest, the gentle and quiet spirit from Africa with the cutest laugh, the most precious and lovely nursing student who didn't know gray cows existed, a prayer leader who fought for unity, a witty and hilariously funny random thinker who never complained... and yours truly. They blessed my socks off. Whether I was hurdled over laughing on car rides, or lifting my hands in worship during the unplanned worship times... this team was so perfectly put together by our God. There was growth. There was messiness. There was friendship. There was love. There was joy. There was peace. There was unity. There was togetherness. There was service. There was hope. There was LIFE.

I am realizing that my thoughts are kind of all over the place... not eloquently stated or planned. I just sat down and started to write. It's well... messy. But I pray you see the beauty of our Savior through this post. The absolute, undeniable beauty of a GOOD God who allowed a team of girls to serve Him in Mexico and will be forever changed.

A HUGE thanks to the beautiful team of girls, but an ever bigger thanks to the God of the Universe. The people You created, both here and in lands far away... leak of Your glory. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

LOVE,
Alyssa

P.S. Photo Credit~ the amazing CP

Tuesday Thankfuls.

Today, on this gloomy rain Tuesday... I am thankful for~

1. phone conversations you've been waiting to have... that happen!
2. excitement!
3. tattoos.
4. the ability to forget what is behind, and press on toward the goal.
5. the feeling of freedom when I dance.
6. Nathan's "who" face.
7. chocolate covered strawberries.
8. renewed hope.
9. The Stirring.
10. The incredible Mexico team.
11. emotion.
12. best friends who love journeying life with you.
13. crooked smiles that leak happiness.
14. flower clips that perfectly match the outfit for the day.
15. clunky jewelry.
16. selflessness.
17. love stories that you didn't even know were being written.

Today is a day of thankfuls. Actually.... ever day is a day of thankfuls. Today, I just chose to write them down. Joy is brimming, excitement is overflowing, love is leaking, and my heart is longing.

Praying for the broken tonight. Even NOW, Jesus... in THIS very moment, would you breathe life into their broken souls.
SO thankful you have breathed life into mine.

Are you living?

"Everyone dies. But not everyone truly lives."

Picking up the Armor.

Yesterday, I saw this video... and my world was rocked. I ever so innocently walked into my university gym expecting a night of worship and community before my Jesus. But instead, God chose to open my eyes to the most hideous sin I could ever imagine~ Sex Trafficking. Selling young girls for sex. Immediately, my heart was broken. Broken. Shattered for these girls. I sat in my seat, overcome by the reality that AS I was sitting in the gym, girls were being victimized. Later, as I drove home, girls were being victimized. As my dear friend and I prayed together against this evil, girls were being victimized. As I write this today, girls are being victimized. Abused, tortured, scarred.

Injustice.

I have to do something. I cannot stand before the Maker of the universe someday and say, "Yes, Jesus. I knew... but I didn't do anything." I don't know what this is going to look like. But I DO know that I was made keenly aware yesterday of what my life is worth. It's worth NOTHING unless I'm living it for Jesus, and Jesus alone. I could live the most "cookie-cutter" life in the world~ nursing school, get married, make babies, raise the babies, grow old with my love~ but did I spend my time in pursuit of holiness, striving to bring heaven to earth and further His kingdom? I absolutely still want these things. The nursing degree, the husband, the children. But I know now that life will not be spent on my couch. I will be doing something. Because we are CALLED to be spreaders of His Word. I have a deep, aching desire to aid in the efforts to bring God's daughters out of this slavery. I don't know if that means giving up school, giving up the comforts of America, or simply posting a blog to raise awareness. I don't know... yet. But I DO know that I want to dream GOD'S dreams for my life. No more wasted resolutions, and fickle friendships. I will live with purpose.

The “Believe in Me” music video contains an accurate depiction of what five hundred thousand precious girls are having to endure. I sat and viewed the “Believe in Me” music video, and with everything in me, wanted to sprint out of the room. The reason I stayed, the reason I watched, the reason others need to do the same is quite simple. A picture is worth a thousand words. I had to endure brief seconds of graphic scenes, while the actual victims live out that reality every.single.day. Innocent, helpless children that are being bought and sold for sex have to endure being raped and sexually assaulted every 30 minutes of almost every hour of every day until they are rescued. It is a good thing that this video makes me uncomfortable. The fact is, it SHOULD. This cruelty is happening every day, to children. This video gives you a very real visual of what these children are being exposed to. If the video were not so specific, would the viewer get the message that this is an evil like no other? This evil needs to be exposed. These children need to be rescued. This video provides a spotlight on these crimes so that there are no more shadows for this evil to lurk in. The children that are victims of these crimes do not have a choice.

How much longer will we as Christians continue to bury our heads in the sand because an issue makes us uncomfortable? How comfortable was Christ when He was dying for us on the cross? I think now is the time for Christians to come together and send a very loud and clear message that we are not going to continue to turn our heads.

I DO have hope to share. It's very simple.

God has already won this war. We get to claim victory because Christ is BIGGER than ANY injustice we may face in the world around us. Let's join in the battle. Whether it be to provide clean drinking water for those who don't have it, speaking truth into the life of a pregnant teenager wanting to abort her precious baby, or feeding the hungry... He has equipped us with the armor. Join me. Let's pick it up and press on into the battle field.

Humbly thanking God for His goodness and His Sovereignty in ALL things,
Alyssa