100.

I have a little sister. And today, she embarks on a crazy wild journey. 

Senior year of high school. 

I also have a little brother. And today, he embarks on a crazy wild journey, too. 

Senior year of high school. 

Wait, what?! How did this even happen?! 

My beautiful, bold, tender-hearted sister. I love her as much as she loves shopping, story-telling, and pedicures. 

My handsome, bold, rough and tumble brother. I love him as much as he loves four-wheeling, guitar solos, and combat. 

It's changed everything, having siblings. My heart aches to give them a head start in this Pinterest, Xbox, photo-shopped world. 

I'm certainly not going to get it perfect, but you better bet I'm going to give it a wild and wonderful go.

Brother isn't best loved through words. He'd be the first to tell you that words of affirmation isn't his love language. He'd rather go hit a round of golf balls or just sit and create music. That's love to him. and I love that :)

But sissy? She's a lot like me. Words are a big, big deal. And this space is one of the best ways I can highlight her as she begins her last year of high school.

So, baby sister, this one's for you. Here's 100 things I desperately want you to know as you step into your very last year of high school. As you get ready to leave the nest. 

Yep. 100. I love you that much. and more. 

1. Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of body. Sissy, claim your heart beauty. Jesus gave it to you, so wear it proudly; it shouts His goodness.

2. The benefit of the doubt is sometimes the best gift we can give our friends. 

3. There will always be mean girls and mean boys. That doesn't mean we find a tower and Rapunzel ourselves away from the world.

4. DO NOT TEXT while you drive. Seriously. It can wait. 

5. Don't you be settling. He better open the car door for you.

6. Sissy, you are always welcome in my wardrobe. 

7. The world needs your point of view. Share it. 

8. I'm just really thankful that you like avocado now. I have prayed and prayed that you would come to appreciate it. and you have. you make me proud.  

9. You are capable. Of WAY more than you can imagine right now. 

10. Write. You're good at it. Really good at it. 

11. Cook, clean, organize, serve because you love to. not because someone tells you you're meant to. 

12. Music makes everything better. and I will always dance with you. 

13. Academics are important. Work hard. Really hard! But don't let it consume you. God's agenda is way more than the school's agenda. 

14. You'll never be too old for me to embarrass you. Just get used to it. 

15. Nothing you could ever tell me will ever make me want to stop hearing from you or claiming you as sister. 

16. We need your story. 

17. No prayer request is ever too small, too silly, or too embarrassing to share. 

18. It's a good idea to wash your face and brush your teeth every night. 

19. Stinkin wear sunscreen. I saw your burns this summer. Be smart. 

20. Your eyes melt hearts. There is joy there. Purpose there. Hope there. 

21. A drive to the top of the world with your best girls make for a perfect evening. 

22. Find one spot to put your keys when you get home everyday. You're less likely to lose them. 

23. Words can build bridges between people. So can hugs. 

24. Home isn't where we live. It's who we love. 

25. Get the app Heads Up app. and play it as often as possible. It will make you laugh harder than you have ever laughed before. and it might just force you to get over yourself and step outside your comfort zone.

26. You can do it. Whatever "it" is, you can do it. 

27. Caitlin means "pure." Your name carries special, significant meaning. 

28. Inevitably, I will splinter your heart. But I promise we will tweeze it out together. 

29. I love more deeply and more recklessly because of you. Thank you. 

30. Staying up late to read is never wasted time. 

31. Good girls and good boys aren't boring. 

32. A good mascara is always worth the investment. and a good hand soap, too. 

33. Plan on eating three times a day. Waiting until dinner each day and trying to make it through senior year is never gonna work. Get up earlier or stay up later to plan appropriately for the day. 

34. Saying sorry first is a sign of strength, not weakness. Don't make forgiveness a game. 

35. I'm so on your side. even on the days when it doesn't feel like it. at the end of the day, I'm always in your corner. 

36. Your body is priceless. A wonderful gift to be shared with your spouse. And I desperately pray you will unwrap that gift together with your husband, cait. But if you don't, don't be afraid to be honest. I will always be here to sit in the trenches with you and speak that big anointing over you full of creativity and purity and beauty. 

37. The movies lie. I am convinced that passion isn't a contorted exercise on a marble staircase; it's doing dishes together at the end of the night and lying with your feet touching in bed at the finish of a long day. When I get married, I'll be sure to report back as to the validity of this :) 

38. Always fight fair. But don't be afraid to fight. 

39. God says He has made all things beautiful. That means you, sis. 

40. Lunch dates with you? They are precious to me. 

41. A good cry is great therapy. 

42. Jesus-loving women aren't immune from cliques. Love on regardless. 

43. Bad hair days are inevitable. 

44. A strong man isn't threatened by a strong woman. 

45. Go big even if it might mean failing big. Especially then. 

46. Sissy, be the friend you wish you had. 

47. Travel. Lots and lots. to the ends of the earth.

48. You cannot control what others think about you. Let it go. Be you. 

49. I will be your best friend. But I will be your protective big sister more. and sometimes that means you won't like what I will have to say. #sorrynotsorry 

50. You can sing. Don't be afraid to belt it out. 

51. You can't go wrong with some Kari Jobe, T-Swift, or lullabies. 

52. Stop for sunsets. Always stop for sunsets. 

53. You are going to be the best auntie. and my boys are going to geek out someday when they see how great you are on a long-board. 

54. Husbands need a wife. Not another mom. 

55. Patience. You might just have to consciously ask for this every day. Because it's hard sometimes. 

56. Instagram your life. It's fun and I like to see what you're up to. But don't JUST Insta your life. Live it. 

57. I have never been the one to help you with any kind of project that involves drawing. That will not be changing this year. Bring me a paper to edit. I'm all over that. 

58. The only thing holding you back from making a difference in the world will be yourself. 

59. I will always share chicken fingers and fries with you. 

60. If you keep your room clean, life will stress you out less. 

61. Sometimes, stepping out and doing the impossible for Jesus looks foolish to others. That's okay. Be foolish. 

62. Real life is always better than online life. 

63. A good friend loves at all times. Period. 

64. The generic peach-o's taste better than the brand name ones. 

65. I'm more interested in your growth than in your happiness. 

66. I will earthquake wide open when you hurt. and I will always come when you call. 

67. You don't always have to do what mom and dad tell you to do. There is a respectful way to disagree.

68. Challenge yourself. 

69. Don't let your Spanish classes go to waste. Use the language you've learned!

70. Dramamine, Advil, and a good multi-vitamin: always a good idea to have around. 

71. We need each other. 

72. You will love again. 

73. The painful truth is always easier than a messy lie. 

74. Jesus loves you, this I know. In my heart, my bones, my soul. 

75. Find joy in what you have. Right here, right now.

76. The next time there's a thunderstorm, go stand outside. barefoot. and feel the electricity pulse through your soul. It's exhilarating.

77. Don't let the child in you die. Nurture the huge imagination and the belief in the impossible. 

78. The world is a full of beauty but often a few things can make it seem harsh. Open your heart to goodness and gladness and gratitude. The choice between being an optimist or a pessimist will remain right there in front of you. Choose one, choose wisely!

78. You have GROWN so much this last year. and I couldn't be more proud. 

79. There's no such thing as perfect. Except Jesus. He's perfect. 

80. Nothing will make me love you any less. You're family. 

81. You're the most brave when you're the most scared and choose to keep going anyway. 

82. I'm never tired of being your sister. 

83. Soak up every single day of this year. every.single.day. 

84. It's scary to stick up for what's right. I know that. I validate that. But sissy, it's so worth it. 

85. God loves you because of who He is. Not because of anything you did or didn't do. 

86. Oh, my darling sister, the best is yet to come. Truly. The best is yet to come. 

87. Yield. 

88. It's rude not to be on time. So do what is necessary to be where you need to be, when you need to be there. 

89. If we all threw our issues in a pile and saw everyone else's, chances are we'd grab ours back. Find gold in the thistle. It's always there. 

90. Don't audit life. Make the most of it. 

91. Be eccentric now. Don't wait until your old age to be cooky and crazy. Life's too short not to have fun. 

92. Overprepare, then go with the flow. 

93. Burn the candles, use the fancy dinnerware set, don your fancy party dress. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 

94. Get rid of things that aren't useful. Clutter weighs you down. 

95. Life isn't always fair, but it's still good. Life can always be good. Shift your perspective when needed to find the goodness. 

96. Stick with the iPhone. It's a good call. 

97. Be extravagantly generous with your love. 

98. Claim your identity as the King's daughter. 

99. Jesus will always come through. He is your biggest, most faithful fan. 

100. You will always be my favorite baby sister. and I am so thankful that God chose you to be a part of my family.

Happy last first day of school, little one. 

I love you there and back.

The Harlot.

I don't really have words. 
Block out 20 minutes. 
and just listen. 
and you might just want to have a box of tissues. 
You are so loved. 

*The video may not show up on your phone. Hop on the computer :)

not the crazy cat lady.

Everyone and their brother's cousin's mother is getting married. Everywhere I turn there are new wedding pictures, a new engagement announcement, or talk of venues and catering and bridesmaid dresses. 
I've worn the dress, carried the bouquet, and donned the updo. As a bridesmaid, that is. I've been a part of the tearful moments in planning, and I've gotten writer's cramp from penning out place cards and invitations. My hands have literally been stuck together by glue and cornstarch while making white yarn balloons, and I've gasped in wonderment during the bride's dress fittings. I've seen the sparkle in their eyes, and I've cried during the first dance. I've given a toast. and once, I even tripped into the wedding reception. (it's true, folks. It's on video).
I've done it. 
And man oh man, I've loved it. 
One of my dearest best friends, Emma, is newly engaged and on cloud nine. A crazy, perfect, "it's-about-time" announcement of upcoming wedded bliss. I remember so distinctly dreamy discussions about love and rings and a lifetime of love... and it all seemed so far away. We were just in high school. And now I can't imagine her sweet self NOT engaged. It just seems so right. 
She's not the first best friend to get married. and she certainly won't be the last. But there is something uniquely different in my heart about her friendship and her marriage.
... and you might be surprised when I tell you it's gladness. 
That's all. Just gladness. 
For every friend, especially Caitlin who I walked so closely with in her season of wedding preparation, there has been a stab in my heart. While I was so genuinely excited and sharing in her joy and gratefulness... I knew. There was a knowledge that things were changing and I was not only powerless to keep them from changing, but I was also powerless in joining along in their adventure. It was just me still. It IS just me still. Now as friend after friend gets married, has a baby, buys a home, struggles through finances, plants a garden, settles down... I've closely watched their tribes drift down the beautiful river of life and bountifully flourish as they grow and learn. 
I spend most of my mornings alone, sipping tea and writing. I go to school nine months out of the year every day, and I spend my evenings doing whatever I want. The thought of having to wrestle over the stolen covers or inquire about the whereabouts of the pacifier doesn't even occur to me. The only discussions about birth control are hypothetical and shrugged off. My life, I know, is easy. It's enviable at times, I'm sure, by my white-dress wearing friends. 
I've envied their lives too. Trust me. There's something about stability, deep love, marrying your best friend, raising kids, planting that garden, even arguing about finances... that is just so beautiful to me. Life together, alongside someone. That's beautiful to me. I want that. I do. 


But not at the expense of gladness. 

I've been surprised at how easy the gladness has been for me this time around. How every time I think about sweet Emma and her perfect-for-her fiance Nick, I just smile. I can't even help it. Every cheesy instagram post, and every piece of the puzzle that falls into place... it just brings me joy. I am reveling in her happiness. 
and to be honest, I find myself sitting back slightly in awe at how easy it's been to genuinely feel that.  I really mean that: surprised. I sometimes want to pinch myself, ask myself if I'm sure it'll stick. Because the change and the newness and the shifting of seasons? It still lies ahead. But let me assure you, it'll stick. and here's how I know: 
Singleness doesn't scare me anymore. Oh, it's not a state I relish or dream about being my life-portion. By ANY MEANS. It's not something I think will be the most fun, most selfless, most adventurous way of life. It's not something I don't think about when I'm alone and feeling it rather acutely. I just mean it doesn't scare me anymore. 
See, the thing is: we have settled into a comfortable routine, singleness and me. I hope that routine never turns me into the crazy, anti-social cat lady down the street (ha!). Instead, I hope and pray it turns me into a passionate, joy-filled, adventurous single person, one who is filled with gladness with every physical representation of Christ and His bride. I hope that the boldness and confidence of my singleness pushes me to productivity and points straight to Jesus. I hope it shouts the gospel. I hope it opens doors to radical and impossible tasks built just for me. I hope that I, like Paul said about the single woman in 1 Corinthians 7, would be devoted to the things of the Lord. That my highest goal would be to please Him. 
For this will make me the most glad. 
Congratulations on your engagement, Nick and Emma. And Matt and Bec. And Josh and Shales. and Jon and Maeghan.  
... and Congratulations to our dear Genevieve who is now Mrs. Hartman! Man, we all love you. 
There's lots of love in the air. 
And I couldn't be more thrilled.

it's just for you.

Hey, you. 
Just stop for a second. 
Breathe in deep. Close your eyes. Open them again. 
Do you see the beauty?? 
See the beauty. 
The Creator moves and breathes and lives within you. 
So those dreams? Chase them. Risk them. 
Those words? Speak them. Write them.   Those hopes? Believe them. Shout them. 
Sink deep into His most perfect embrace. 
Know that He has your back. 
He's fighting for you. 
He's dreaming with you. 
He is pursuing you. 
He is loving you. 
And in these moments, these every day moments, catch the glimpses of the Divine. 
Oh, how they shimmer against the mundane, wiping out worry and fear. 
Embrace the waves of freedom. 
Clothe yourself in the grace and gentleness of His Spirit. 
Look for the beauty. 
It's everywhere. 
And guess what?
It's just for you. 
You are loved. Beyond measure. 

new name, new look, same me.

Hi, friends!! Welcome to the new space! So excited to be on this journey, and be fully stepping into my identity as a writer. It's been such a crazy, wild ride.   Feel free to take a look around and get familiar. Take a look at the tabs and learn a little bit more about me, why I chose the name "thistles & gold", how you can get in touch with me, and even get a glimpse at my friends!
Be sure to subscribe if you want to be notified when something new is posted! You can do this by scrolling down the page and inputing your email address. 
The rest should be pretty self-explanatory :) 
HUGE thank you to the amazing Bri at three eleven design. You knocked it out of the park! You took my vision and made it a reality. You're a genius. 
A new actual blog post coming up soon. I've missed this. 
Thanks for stopping by! I'm so glad you're here. 
Hugs.

but he called me a stupid head.

"Even though it's really hard, when someone is mean {when they call you names, steal your friends, don't express gratitude for your efforts, stop talking to you, gossip about you, kick you on the playground, decide someone else is more important, pretend you are invisible, spread rumors about you, don't apologize, etc.} we need to try our best to be nice."

I looked at my favorite little five year old in the rear-view mirror after I picked her up from swim lessons last week. She frowned and looked out the window.

"But uh-LYSSSSA," she whined. "He called me a stupid-head. So I smacked him." The teacher had gently informed me at pickup that there had been an "incident" in the pool that day. Thank you for telling me, I nodded. I'll make sure we talk about it.

And we did.

But as I formed the words in the car I thought about them as I spoke them. How can I tell this sweet little one how to act when I have deep hurts in my own heart and sometimes all I want to do is smack someone in line? And when someone hurts us deeply (dare I admit it?), sometimes it is all I have in me not to be cruel in return.

So I tell her. Even when someone is hurtful, over and over and OVER again. Even when they betray you. Even when they call you names. Even then we still must love.

I tasted the bitterness as it came off my tongue. Because large parts of my heart struggle to believe my own words.

Because seriously, how many chances does someone get?

How many chances did Peter get? I recall Peter asking Jesus something similar. Almost like a kindergartener (or a 21-year-old college student) he was. How many times, Jesus? How many times do I forgive? Surely not more than I have days in the week?

And then Jesus said, "Hey, Peter? Times whatever number you have in your head by infinity, and then you'll have your answer."

How many times do we allow someone to hurt our feelings, betray us in the most intimate of ways, or call us a stupid-head during swim lessons without going all wild woman crazy on them and returning the hurt?

Infinity times infinity. 

It's a drastic type of forgiveness. It's a radical, weird thing that doesn't feel good all the time. It feels weak and subservient. It feels like I'm losing my pride, that I'm losing my footing and confidence. It's so much stronger to be cruel in return, right? This kind of infinity-times-infinity forgiveness doesn't make any kind of real sense.

It's the kind of forgiveness that goes way beyond stupid-head.

It dips into the arena of forgiving the lie-spreaders, our abusers, the ones who murder and steal and take things in life that never belonged to them. And sometimes? It's forgiveness over and over and over again. But as I think about it and I think about Peter, I don't think Jesus asked anything less.

It's the kind of gracious forgiveness that seems NUTS to those who don't know Jesus. Like jumping in a freezing pool or walking on a tight-rope over the grand canyon. Once you're in, you're all in. There's no going back.

And then once we've forgiven today {because forgiving today is a bit easier than trying to forgive for all eternity}, we wake up tomorrow and we do it again. Whenever the sting rises, we consciously choose to jump full feet into radical forgiveness. Infinity times infinity, if it comes to that.

And sometimes, that forgiveness will be a quiet whisper in the still of the night. When the anxiety and the hurt has woken us up once again at 2:17 with no hope of falling back asleep. It's the whisper, the name of the betrayer and a "Jesus, please help" added to the end. Speaking the small, weak prayer is one of the strongest things we can do. It's a huge step of grace. A huge surrender of control.

The people that wound us? They only hold as much power over us as we allow.

Taking those excruciatingly hard, tiny steps toward drastic forgiveness is the ONLY way I can teach the little ones in my life that even if he calls her bad names forever we still have the opportunity to practice mercy.

Because Jesus asked us to.

And because anything less keeps us in chains to the person who has done the wounding.

Jesus, help me. Wash over me and wash over them with your infinity-times-infinity quality of grace and radical forgiveness.

And please help sweet little love to know she is not, and never will be, a stupid-head.

Love,
Lyss

several cups, a couple tablespoons, a teaspoon, and a little pinch.

On Wednesday, I celebrated my 21st birthday.

Here's 21 lessons I've learned in these 21 years on earth. From friends, from family, from the children, from strangers, from Jesus.

*Adding this in after I finished writing the post. This might sound a bit different from what you normally read in this space. My dear friend said it best when she said, "You just wrote like you talk. I really wish more people could hear your tone." So for those of you who don't know me well, I'll try to describe my tone to you. Several cups of love, a couple tablespoons of awe, a teaspoon of wit, and maybe a little pinch of determination.

My 21 pearls of wisdom to you, friends.

In random order.

1. People are hurting. Err on the side of kindness. Kindness makes a difference. When you tweet, when you post a status, when you blog, when you visit family, when you send a text, when you change a diaper, when you're in traffic, when your dog pees in the house, when you have zero words for the exasperation you are feeling: Be kind. Play nice.

2. Just because you're a good student, a good writer, a good house-keeper, a loving wife, a long-suffering husband, a conventionally pretty or handsome person, a hard-worker, a wonderful nurse/dentist/mom/dad/teacher/lawyer/artist, or ______ or _______ or _______, it doesn't make you better than anyone else. As soon as you possibly can, get over yourself. Value others for who God created them to be and take joy in putting Him on display.

3. You can never ever eat too much avocado. ever.

4. The Bible. It's majorly confusing and deserves diligent time and attention to understand well. It's beautifully rich and life-changing. Study it. Often. By yourself. and with others.

5. Seek after God's best for you and ask Him to equip you with the tools to live to your absolutely fullest potential.

6. Read.

7. Embrace vulnerability. There is so much beauty in being raw.

8. God absolutely loves poor people, mean people, sick people, displaced people, emotionally abused people, mentally-ill people, train-wrecks, immigrants and lesbians. You should to. And it should be tangible.

9. Dream big. So so big. But don't step on others trying to achieve it.

10. It's better to just fight than to be passive aggressive. Sometimes, you just have to embrace tension and step into it together. (right, bec? :))

11. Look people directly in the eyes and say hello or smile. Or go really crazy, and do BOTH! Seriously. It does wonders.

12. Children are the most vulnerable population on our planet. We have the huge opportunity to honor them, protect them, and love them. In my humble opinion, this includes children who are not yet born. All children should be protected. Loved. Cherished. Valued.

13. You're not likely to flourish without taking some risks. You jump, I jump, Jack.

14. Whether it will take five minutes or five years, decide that you will forgive those who have deeply wounded you.

15. There is a place for rebuke. We don't like to think so, but there is. Though so so hard to give out, rebuke is absolutely necessary and quite effective when given in love.

16. Great leaders, great visionaries, great change agents always have accountability. Don't let yourself hide away where no one can put you in your place when you act like a crazy, wild mess. Allowing yourself to be disciplined and shaped and sharpened isn't cowardly. It is so so very brave.

17. How you treat those who can do nothing for you says a lot about your character.

18. Ask God questions. It's allowed.

19. Let your "yes" be "yes" and your "no" be "no." What if we were forced to follow through on everything we said "yes" to? Everything from lunch with a friend to staying married even while unhappy? Would we think more clearly about what we agreed to if our lives depended on our follow through? Let your "yes" be "yes". If you agreed to it, promised to it, then do it. Oh. and also? You might need to say "yes" less often.

20. Audibly thank God. Acknowledge his artistic expressions, moved mountains, and perfect heart.

21. You are loved. You are seen. You are known.

...and there we go. done.

21 lessons in 21 years.

Really excited for this year and the dozens of lessons that await.

A big thank you to all of you that have journeyed with me!

Much love,
Lyss