I am.

I am an instrument of the living God... my life a melody to His name. More than the songs I sing, worship is everything. I live to glorify my King.

Hearthe song of my life. Let it be a sweet sweet sound. I raise this anthem high... just let it be a sweet sweet sound.

Through all the myre and clay You're washing me with grace. You carry me, oh Jesus, through it all. So I will testify... EVEN in the fire. I live to praise my Savior.

Let it be... let it be a sweet sweet sound to your ears.

I love you.

This and That

Getting Home...at 2 am is not a normality. Trust me. Well, today I am paying for it. Woke up with a sore throat and a nasty cough. Awesome. Well, at least it's now and not the week of the play... I watched Stepmom which made my cry. A lot. I'm tired of being yelled at. I just ended a sentence with a preposition, which a big no-no and I don't even care. The cherry cough drops are gone, which disappoints me. The sun is out, which means the windows can be open. Fresh air is good, for sure. I love the new pair of jeans I got the other day for super cheap. I'm pretty much over spring break, aside from the sleeping in. Yep, another sentence ending in a preposition. My eyes are heavy, but not from sleepiness. Could it be allergies? My name is not Sarah. Very soon, I am finished.

God, I know you are good.

~Poppins

I Will Sing.

The absolute best thing about being home alone is singing. As loudly as I possibly can. Whatever song I happen to be singing seems to have a sweeter sound when it's not followed by, "Alyssa, please stop" or "Alyssa, we've heard enough" or "When you have your own house you can sing all you want, but for right now you are finished, Alyssa". It's great... because my Savior never asks me to stop. It's a sweet sweet sound. I think maybe that's why I like driving so much. Not only does it give me time to think uninterrupted, but I can sing like nobody's business... and nobody will care! :) I was able to walk into my empty house this morning, and sing~ truly sing in a way that I don't get to very often~ and I know He was just thrilled. I loved it.

~Poppins

Documenting.

Just want to write down some memories... so I don't forget them. Looking out over the city lights with my foot super hard on the break so we don't roll down the hill... the gross frosting on the margarita cupcake, but the amazingness of the cupcake itself... reading a book aloud that so closely resembles reality it's scary... going into a safe place when art is menacing...squishing three girls into one bed for the night... opening the sunroof of the car, being absolutely freezing, but loving the night atmosphere... the creepy cottage where rapers must be bred... driving and swapping stories, refusing to get out and trespass... E's crown and love affair with a pair of hiking boots...dancing in the swaying grass... waking up on Easter and realizing it's raining, the sinking feeling... the feeling of protection when I walked into N and S's house... listening to a voicemail and feeling tears in my eyes at the mention of the words "you're family"... the totally PINK restaurant... wasting gas and not caring... making dinner with two of my closest friends, then being afraid to eat it... listening to Ava girl tell her imaginative stories... constant laughing, for no apparent reason other than we're just plain funny... turning off the movie because we know the ending and don't want to watch them die... watching the saddest movie on earth when Sarah and I hear Elyse whisper, "He's gonna die. The movie's called Remember Me"... the peace I felt walking into an empty house... not being able to fall asleep because I was so thankful... the echo when I sang in the gym all by myself... the complete and utter exhaustion I felt when I completed the first run through... looking at Lauren, and knowing she was feeling the same thing... the memories that started pouring through my brain when I was writing to the cast... Sarah yelling at Jon's house... the exact moment when I saw the cast list and realized that I get to be young... the way my heart kind flips over when Phillip calls me momma in school... driving home and not wanting the drive to end.

These are just a few... I woke up today, just me and Jesus on Easter... and wanted to document these moments. These moments make life fun, adventerous, and at times, scary! Thank you, sweet friends. How blessed I am by you.

Christ is Risen, He is risen indeed!

~Poppins

Discovery.

I realized today that silence has a sound.

~Poppins.

Dreaming.......

My Perfect Day:

The weather: It’s cold, but not raining. The sun is shining, but there are clouds.

I would wake up at 8:30 with the heater on and music coming from the living room… Jim Brickman. One of his piano CD’s. I would walk out, wearing fuzzy socks and my favorite pj pants with the cool satin ribbon at the top… and my mom would have blueberry coffee cake just out of the oven. Our family would sit together at the table, talking sporadically… but not a lot. The silence is not awkward. In fact, it’s enjoyable. We laugh a lot when we do talk, and really enjoy just being together.
At 9:30, I head to take a shower, and find that my mom has just washed the towels. They still have the laundry soap scent on them, and are fluffy. 9:50, I hop out, and get ready. Doesn’t take me long… I just throw on my favorite pair of sweats and a sweatshirt, toss my hair up, and don’t put any make-up on. I head into my room, where I light a vanilla scented candle, and I read. For maybe an hour. No distractions at this time. Just me and the book. I blow out the candle, and the yummy smoke fills the air.
At eleven, I get into my parents car that they are letting me borrow for the day… and I head to be a nanny…. With ALL the kids I babysit. Ever. There are seventeen of them. I am totally able to handle them all on my own… and we have a party. We eat yummy food~ that the kids are able to help prepare, we watch a movie- Finding Nemo, snuggle, and laugh. A lot. The older kids perform a puppet show, while the younger ones are content to watch and sit with me. We are covered with warm cut-and-tie blankets, and everyone is enjoying their afternoon. No tears, meltdowns, or arguments. Just fun.
At four, the parents come to collect their children… and it is sad to see them go, because I’ve had so much fun. The kiddos all hug me goodbye, and I head home change into some “pretty” clothes. I put on a black dress with black kitten heels, and my mom curls my hair. It’s pulled back loosely. I do my make-up, and I finish the outfit off with a string of pearls. I head to the Cascade. At the cascade, there are people who are passionate about music and just want to play their instrument/sing/dance. I know them all. None of them are strangers, but I may know them very little. There is no agenda for the evening. It’s just a night of spontaneous worship through music and dance. Mrs. Zittel is in the corner, doing some type of fascinating modern contemporary routine… and I’m thankful to finally get to see her talent full force. Rachel and Lauren are doing a duet, harmonizing beautifully. There are some boys in the corner, younger… using their falsetto. Beautiful. Elyse is painting, I don’t know what, but that’s no surprise and I am just excited to see her heart in color. Mrs. Dummer is there, playing piano and singing. It’s breathtaking. There are various other groups that are there. I am there, too… although I know I don’t fit into any of these previously stated groups. And I am TOTALLY okay with that. So I start singing on my own. Out front and center… completely to Jesus. Doesn’t matter what song I sing, it could even be a mixture of songs… but I am unaware of everyone around me… singing as loud as I can. After a while, I stop. I look around me and everyone is smiling. Not at me. Just to themselves. They just had intense moments, too. Moments of passion and thankfulness, awe and reality. I am grateful.
Around seven, I head to Red Robin to meet up with the seniors. We eat together, completely enjoying each others company, no hindrances. No gossip takes place, instead, we ask about each other, genuinely interested in the lives of our friends. We laugh, eat, and are respectful to the waitress and the other diners. We discuss memories that have taken place over the last few years… but it’s not sad. We’re just reveling in the good times… taking in and cherishing the few moments we have left together.
At nine, I head home once again. I eat dessert with my family… warm cherry pie with vanilla ice cream slathered over the top…
At nine thirty, I crawl into bed… once again in the favorite pj’s (but they’ve been washed, so they smell awesome)… and the heater whirring. My dad comes in and tells me he loves me… followed by my mom. By ten o’clock… I’m asleep :)

This….. this would be my absolutely perfect day.

Quirks!

I love them, and certainly have quite a few of my own. I so appreciate people who realize that my quirks... they make me ME!

So whatever your quirks may be~ I love them.

L.O.V.E,
Poppins