Pool time with a forever friend = thankfulness.
I am so blessed to have been close enough to such a best friend... close enough to hug her and hear her voice... to spend time with her in a way that isn't normally possible! God is so so good. Friendships centered around Christ are so beautiful and lovely.
I so love you, sweet Emmy. Thanks for your encouragement, patience, listening ear, giggling, girliness, and love for Jesus. You are beautiful!
Hugs,
Alyssa
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Picturing it.
"When the waves crashed and spilled, they flashed silver... as if caught in a camera's flash."
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Fear and Redemption.
There are a few things I have always been afraid of... things unique to me, at least at my age. While others are worried about how cool a car is or a swimsuit giving off ugly tan lines... my mind goes to the future. Sometimes I acknowledge the fear, other times I push it to the back of my mind. The other day fear caught up to me, and resulted in some pretty interesting conversation with Jesus :) Here's how it went...
I had the immense privilege of going to an ultrasound with my aunt to find out the sex of their new sweet little baby. It was one of the best experiences ever. The look on Kevin's face the whole time was enough to make me go get married right now. It was the sweetest look I have ever seen... I honestly cannot think of a time I've seen a man more filled with happiness. I cried with excitement and pure joy when the announcement was made! The baby is going to be a beautiful girl :) Anyway, as I was sitting there... I daydreamed. I cannot wait until that is ME one day. My husband there holding my hand, while we find out together whether we will be shopping for blue or pink :) (although I'm thinking green and brown for boy, and yellow and purple for girl... but that's just logistics!) I can't wait to experience every little detail of pregnancy... the morning sickness, the dry skin, the movin and shakin, the swollen ankles, the "glow", the maternity clothes, the questions.... ah, all of it! I've got the mommy bug. At 18... and sometimes there's no stopping the level of daydreaming! But as I sat there, it was like this immediate switch from joyous to fearful. The sneaky little devil found his way into my brain... and planted his routine thoughts of doubt and insecurity. I am scared of not being pursued by a Godly man, or rather... any man at all. I am scared of not being able to get pregnant. I am scared of being an incapable mother. Fear was bombarding my brain in that little ultrasound room, and I was burdened. So I sat there and talked to Jesus about it. Most of the time, I talk to Him out loud... it feels more real to me I suppose. But this conversation took place in the quiet place of my heart... the most unspoken place. And, as usual, God brought peace. His plan is so perfect for me, and when I am delighting in Him... He will grant me the desires of my heart!... that means being a wife and mommy. God is so faithful to show me that He will never ever fail me. When fear creeps in, He is there to snuff the fire. What a mighty God I serve.
Needless to say, I walked out of that ultrasound ready to celebrate with my aunt and her sweet sweet family.
The fear gone, excitement replacing it... the rest of the night was spent trying to convince Kevin that his new little girl was going to be named Charlotte!
***** I added a couple more names to my name list!! Avery, Finley, and Aiden :)
I had the immense privilege of going to an ultrasound with my aunt to find out the sex of their new sweet little baby. It was one of the best experiences ever. The look on Kevin's face the whole time was enough to make me go get married right now. It was the sweetest look I have ever seen... I honestly cannot think of a time I've seen a man more filled with happiness. I cried with excitement and pure joy when the announcement was made! The baby is going to be a beautiful girl :) Anyway, as I was sitting there... I daydreamed. I cannot wait until that is ME one day. My husband there holding my hand, while we find out together whether we will be shopping for blue or pink :) (although I'm thinking green and brown for boy, and yellow and purple for girl... but that's just logistics!) I can't wait to experience every little detail of pregnancy... the morning sickness, the dry skin, the movin and shakin, the swollen ankles, the "glow", the maternity clothes, the questions.... ah, all of it! I've got the mommy bug. At 18... and sometimes there's no stopping the level of daydreaming! But as I sat there, it was like this immediate switch from joyous to fearful. The sneaky little devil found his way into my brain... and planted his routine thoughts of doubt and insecurity. I am scared of not being pursued by a Godly man, or rather... any man at all. I am scared of not being able to get pregnant. I am scared of being an incapable mother. Fear was bombarding my brain in that little ultrasound room, and I was burdened. So I sat there and talked to Jesus about it. Most of the time, I talk to Him out loud... it feels more real to me I suppose. But this conversation took place in the quiet place of my heart... the most unspoken place. And, as usual, God brought peace. His plan is so perfect for me, and when I am delighting in Him... He will grant me the desires of my heart!... that means being a wife and mommy. God is so faithful to show me that He will never ever fail me. When fear creeps in, He is there to snuff the fire. What a mighty God I serve.
Needless to say, I walked out of that ultrasound ready to celebrate with my aunt and her sweet sweet family.
The fear gone, excitement replacing it... the rest of the night was spent trying to convince Kevin that his new little girl was going to be named Charlotte!
***** I added a couple more names to my name list!! Avery, Finley, and Aiden :)
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