brave.

We were acquaintances. 
I knew they owned a successful coffee company.  I knew they had two incredible little boys.  And I knew they were stunning people, in both body and soul. 
That's it. I knew nothing of their lifestyle. I knew nothing about what makes them tick, what gets them up in the morning. I knew nothing of their extravagant giving to the community and to their people. 
Then she posted on social media that they were looking for a part-time personal assistant. I sent her an email that very day, attempting to explain my admiration for them even though I knew them so little. I explained my position in nursing school, explained why I felt I could learn to be a great PA, and explained that I'd love to run with them. 
I interviewed with them a week later.  I interviewed with three of their best girls a few days after that. 
And 365 days ago, I was offered a job that would change my whole life. 
I'm sitting in my little house on the hill, the room lit only by the Christmas tree. I'm working on several projects, soaking up every second of this surprise life. I find myself on a constant journey of searching for bravery and I've realized over the last year that when I look for courage, I tend to find it wherever I go. 
I have friends that live in India. They've been there for several years now, and I look at their lives in wonder and amazement. They learned a new language. They encounter foreign diseases and ailments. They deal with extreme temperatures. They are thousands of miles away from family. They're doing brave, hard things- things I'm not sure I would be able to do. And they do it, not because it's glamorous or glorifying, but because they're in the place where Jesus wants them to be, doing the work that Jesus has called them to do. 
I think that's true for all of us. 
I think we're at our bravest when we're in the place where Jesus wants us to be, doing the work that Jesus has called us to do. 
Perhaps that's not India. Maybe, for you, it's mothering. I'm not a mother, but I know that motherhood is one of the bravest things in the world. Maybe it's stepping into an office everyday or putting a gun into a holster and praying it stays there. Maybe it's taking blood pressures. Maybe it's banking. Maybe it's running a business. Maybe it's pulling shots or making someone's day at the drive-through window. 
And maybe your bravery isn't any of these things, but it's waiting. Waiting never feels brave, does it? Courage generally seems like we should be doing something, or going somewhere. It feels like it should be big and bold and book-worthy. But when we're in the place where Jesus wants us to be, doing the work Jesus has called us to do... that's when we're doing the brave thing. Waiting for the test result, waiting for the open door, waiting for clarity. That's brave. 
Perhaps your brave is trudging through school- with people telling you to determine your future, to choose your life. And maybe it's overwhelming and stressful. But if you're where Jesus wants you to be, you're in the midst of your courage. And if you've decided not to go to school? You're no less valuable or intelligent. In fact, you're very brave. 
Perhaps your brave is choosing to step out of an unhealthy relationship. 
Perhaps your brave is saying NO when it would be so much easier to say yes. 
Conversely, perhaps your brave is saying YES when it would be so much easier to say no. 
I'd hate for us to get caught up in the lie that our lives must appear spectacular in order to be considered brave. 
Some of the bravest things I did this year weren't spectacular at all. My brave was choosing to ask for help when I pridefully wanted to prove I could do it all on my own. My brave was curling up in my bosses arms and listening to her consistent heartbeat when I was ill. My brave was choosing "personal assistant" over "nurse". My brave was celebrating successes and mourning losses and creating healthy boundaries. 
We are courageous because Jesus breathes bravery into the core of our fearful bones, and when we take a terrifying step toward the place we believe Jesus wants us to be, we're living testaments of an audacious God. 
I think Jesus has so much more planned for us than a seemingly spectacular life. 
Celebrating today. Because one year ago my life took a drastic turn. 
and I learned what it meant to be brave.