God has been rocking my world in big ways as of late... opening my eyes to yucky things of this world, and changing my heart in so many ways. This is what He has been teaching my heart...
1. He has been graciously teaching me what true contentment look like. It's not saying the words "I'm content"... No. It's much more than that. It's a heart that's willing to go where He sends me, eyes that are constantly seeking His face alone, and lips that speak truth about where I am in the consistent struggle with true contentment. So, I say these words with a humble, trembling heart. But I mean them just the same~ I will go where you send me, Father. I don't want to miss anything you are doing. Continue to mold me into the woman you want me to be, a woman content with where you have me.
2. He has been continually showing me that trusting in Him is sufficient. When I place my life in His hands, the plan for my life is rooted in security. I never have to look for outside assurance, because He is more than enough for me.
3. Celebration. I never thought I would have to be taught how to celebrate... but I have been taught/am still being taught how to truly celebrate. I don't mean for birthdays, landing a sweet nanny job, or getting an A on an exam. I mean celebrating when a 16 year old other than me gets a brand new car for her birthday, when someone ELSE lands a sweet nanny job, or when my study partner gets a higher grade on her exam. We are commanded to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. Mourning is easy... it’s a natural, fleshly initiative. Rejoicing is not. We are a selfish, prideful race and people group. God has been continually stripping me of this, and teaching me how to truly celebrate and rejoice with those around me.
4. Waiting. My life seems to be filled with lots and lots of waiting. I am learning that he is molding me though each season... that includes the season of waiting. Dan Lance said tonight at the Stirring, “Waiting is hard, but waiting is good.” So simple... but SO true. It IS hard, but beautiful things come from waiting. My turn will come... I just need to rest in Him.
5. Genuinity. I think this speaks for itself. We are not called to be robots. Happy, sunshine-y, slap-a-smile-on-your-face robots. We are called to be real... people of resolve and fervor, passion and grace. I am learning to be genuine. With ALL people.
6. Last thing on the list tonight... He is opening my eyes to SO much beauty. Like I’ve never seen before. Allowing me to enjoy and capture just glimpses of His beauty. I found myself truly bubbling over tonight. I wanted to run and greet every single person I saw, whether I knew them or not! I just wanted to invade them with the love of Jesus... because it’s meant to be shared... to be leaked out of every pore in my body.
With that said, I am at peace tonight. I am thankful for what my Jesus is teaching me. He is drawing me closer to Himself every single hour, and I am falling more and more in love. Oh, how I love you, Jesus.
Oh, how I love you.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Stillness.
I realized this afternoon that I haven't had time in months to simply "Be Still." There is always bustling, rumbling, and running around... not to mention the endless amounts of studying :) I'm either buried in a textbook, memorizing notecards, driving to Caitlin's, driving back from Caitlin's, eating, decorating, dancing, playing games, walking like a zombie due to exhaustion, watching the kiddos, or sleeping. This is my life. Crazy, wild, hectic. Today, the second I woke up there was a list of "to-do's"....
1. Call Louise Elliot.
2. Do 6 loads of laundry. (I know, I know. It's bad... it builds up!)
3. Book a flight to see my grandparents.
4. Call Jen (This absolutely could not be cut out, though it may seem trivial)
5. Do dishes.
6. Write the fetal circulation paper for anatomy.
7. Pay the credit card bill.
8. Map out finals week.
9. Clean room. Thoroughly.
10. Finish filling out passport for Mexico.
11. Master lecture notes for anatomy.
..... I'm sure there is more, but this is all I can think of right now.
It was basically go go go go go go for 6 hours. I didn't get it all finished, but I knew I needed a break. I'm still sick, doped up on meds, and constantly exhausted... so I definitely needed to just chill.
The house is empty. I lit some candles. Turned on the Christmas tree lights, and my very favorite soothing Christmas CD... and I sat. I was still. I had nothing in my hands. Nothing I was trying to study. My phone was in the other room. I just "was." I was still. I was silent. I was contemplative. I am just thanking God tonight for stillness. For the moments He allows me to rest. To just sit in His arms and "be". This post is not eloquent or proofread, long and thought out. It's simple and un-edited.
I'm okay with that.
Try it sometime. Put everything aside. Praise Him.
"Fall on your knees... oh hear the angel voices... oh night divine."
mmmm..... STILLNESS.
1. Call Louise Elliot.
2. Do 6 loads of laundry. (I know, I know. It's bad... it builds up!)
3. Book a flight to see my grandparents.
4. Call Jen (This absolutely could not be cut out, though it may seem trivial)
5. Do dishes.
6. Write the fetal circulation paper for anatomy.
7. Pay the credit card bill.
8. Map out finals week.
9. Clean room. Thoroughly.
10. Finish filling out passport for Mexico.
11. Master lecture notes for anatomy.
..... I'm sure there is more, but this is all I can think of right now.
It was basically go go go go go go for 6 hours. I didn't get it all finished, but I knew I needed a break. I'm still sick, doped up on meds, and constantly exhausted... so I definitely needed to just chill.
The house is empty. I lit some candles. Turned on the Christmas tree lights, and my very favorite soothing Christmas CD... and I sat. I was still. I had nothing in my hands. Nothing I was trying to study. My phone was in the other room. I just "was." I was still. I was silent. I was contemplative. I am just thanking God tonight for stillness. For the moments He allows me to rest. To just sit in His arms and "be". This post is not eloquent or proofread, long and thought out. It's simple and un-edited.
I'm okay with that.
Try it sometime. Put everything aside. Praise Him.
"Fall on your knees... oh hear the angel voices... oh night divine."
mmmm..... STILLNESS.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Choosing Gratitude.
Today, I am choosing gratitude. I am choosing to look at the life God has chosen to bless me with. Being that it is November, and a celebrated time of thankfulness... Here are a few things I am thankful for~
I'm thankful for blue-sky Sundays, rainy days where I can sleep in, stars splattered across the heavens, snowflakes, and rows and rows of mountains. I'm thankful for city skylines, breathtaking paintings, and friends who love Jesus and look out for me. I'm thankful for strong hugs hello and passionate hugs goodbye.
I'm thankful for the long teary nights when I write so much I see the first glimpse of sunrise. I'm thankful for music~ endless, magnificent, poignant music to match every mood. Life deserves a soundtrack, don't you think? I'm thankful for the fun, most wacky family a girl could have. I have parents who love each other and desire to please God, a talented brother who is such a gentleman, and a "sister" that lets me talk about the same things over and over.
I'm thankful for cell phones and emails, for calls and notes, and mixed CD's, even when life gets busy. I'm thankful for inside jokes I have with my best friends. I'm thankful for great plays, for my car, and the way Jillian yells at me JUST when I'm about to give up on the crunches.
I'm thankful I live in a place with such amazing doctors, wonderful education, and the freedom to worship the way I want. I'm thankful for my scars and freckles. I'm thankful for touching novels that I think about for weeks after I've turned the last page, movies with a purpose, and sweet poetry.
I'm thankful for random mall trips with my bff in the nursing program, old home movies, glasses and contact lenses. I'm thankful for water droplets that gather on the leaves, study breaks that end in a dance-off, and umbrellas and rainboots.
I'm thankful for singleness and the blessing that it brings. I'm thankful for Nate Edwardson, and his desire to let Jesus flow through his words every Sunday. I'm thankful for The Stirring, and how God is working in my sinful heart.
I'm thankful for people who challenge my thinking, people who inspire creativity, and people who make me laugh from my gut.
I'm grateful for democracy and freedom and for men and women who defend those rights. I'm thankful for green tea, cold days, and blasting music. I'm thankful for sleepy eyes, and the words "I Love You." I'm thankful for boys.
I'm thankful for sweatshirts and pea coats, leggings and stilettos. I'm thankful for soap and toothpaste, candles and nail polish.
I'm thankful for neon notecards, study buddies, and fleece blankets.
If thankfulness were a fireworks show, this would be the grand finale. I'm thankful for the indescribable love of a Sovereign God who is so involved in the lives of His girls. THAT'S the relationship that sets my heart and imagination on fire, that sets my feet to dancin, that shines a light on all my darkness, that fills me up with purpose, promise, and worth.
When change happens, He holds on to me. When tragedy comes out of nowhere, He holds onto me. In my most wonderful moments and in my most tragic moments, I'm safe in the arms of a God who will never let me go.
Because of Him, every moment matters. On this side of heaven, we'll have to swim through used cliches and adjectives to try and explain God's glory. Maybe that's for the best. Where words fail, we can can love, serve, and live lives that resonate that crazy beautiful love.
I can't think of a better way to explain what He means to me than by living a life sold out for Him. The way we impact the world will never be through having the most amazing car, the most gorgeous dress, or the most celebrity-packed party the world has ever seen. The way we impact the world will come from the time we spend with Him~ in His Word, in worship, in prayer~ and how we allow His all-consuming love to change our hearts. The way we love and serve other people (especially those who can do absolutely nothing for us in return) changes everything.
Paul writes about Thankfulness in several places. In Colossians 2:7, he instructs the church to be "overflowing with thankfulness." Paul had as much reason as anybody to find something to complain about, but he seemed to find true freedom and closeness with God when he acknowledged how God was working in his life.
I don't think God is put off when we wrestle with disappointment and frustration. True gratefulness doesn't have to be an obnoxious, over-the-top optimism. It doesn't mean we won't grieve through legitimate heartbreaks and hard times. Living in gratefulness does make us more keenly aware of how God is working.
Being grateful people helps us to get over ourselves and get caught up in what He's doing all around us.
I am choosing gratitude.
I'm thankful for blue-sky Sundays, rainy days where I can sleep in, stars splattered across the heavens, snowflakes, and rows and rows of mountains. I'm thankful for city skylines, breathtaking paintings, and friends who love Jesus and look out for me. I'm thankful for strong hugs hello and passionate hugs goodbye.
I'm thankful for the long teary nights when I write so much I see the first glimpse of sunrise. I'm thankful for music~ endless, magnificent, poignant music to match every mood. Life deserves a soundtrack, don't you think? I'm thankful for the fun, most wacky family a girl could have. I have parents who love each other and desire to please God, a talented brother who is such a gentleman, and a "sister" that lets me talk about the same things over and over.
I'm thankful for cell phones and emails, for calls and notes, and mixed CD's, even when life gets busy. I'm thankful for inside jokes I have with my best friends. I'm thankful for great plays, for my car, and the way Jillian yells at me JUST when I'm about to give up on the crunches.
I'm thankful I live in a place with such amazing doctors, wonderful education, and the freedom to worship the way I want. I'm thankful for my scars and freckles. I'm thankful for touching novels that I think about for weeks after I've turned the last page, movies with a purpose, and sweet poetry.
I'm thankful for random mall trips with my bff in the nursing program, old home movies, glasses and contact lenses. I'm thankful for water droplets that gather on the leaves, study breaks that end in a dance-off, and umbrellas and rainboots.
I'm thankful for singleness and the blessing that it brings. I'm thankful for Nate Edwardson, and his desire to let Jesus flow through his words every Sunday. I'm thankful for The Stirring, and how God is working in my sinful heart.
I'm thankful for people who challenge my thinking, people who inspire creativity, and people who make me laugh from my gut.
I'm grateful for democracy and freedom and for men and women who defend those rights. I'm thankful for green tea, cold days, and blasting music. I'm thankful for sleepy eyes, and the words "I Love You." I'm thankful for boys.
I'm thankful for sweatshirts and pea coats, leggings and stilettos. I'm thankful for soap and toothpaste, candles and nail polish.
I'm thankful for neon notecards, study buddies, and fleece blankets.
If thankfulness were a fireworks show, this would be the grand finale. I'm thankful for the indescribable love of a Sovereign God who is so involved in the lives of His girls. THAT'S the relationship that sets my heart and imagination on fire, that sets my feet to dancin, that shines a light on all my darkness, that fills me up with purpose, promise, and worth.
When change happens, He holds on to me. When tragedy comes out of nowhere, He holds onto me. In my most wonderful moments and in my most tragic moments, I'm safe in the arms of a God who will never let me go.
Because of Him, every moment matters. On this side of heaven, we'll have to swim through used cliches and adjectives to try and explain God's glory. Maybe that's for the best. Where words fail, we can can love, serve, and live lives that resonate that crazy beautiful love.
I can't think of a better way to explain what He means to me than by living a life sold out for Him. The way we impact the world will never be through having the most amazing car, the most gorgeous dress, or the most celebrity-packed party the world has ever seen. The way we impact the world will come from the time we spend with Him~ in His Word, in worship, in prayer~ and how we allow His all-consuming love to change our hearts. The way we love and serve other people (especially those who can do absolutely nothing for us in return) changes everything.
Paul writes about Thankfulness in several places. In Colossians 2:7, he instructs the church to be "overflowing with thankfulness." Paul had as much reason as anybody to find something to complain about, but he seemed to find true freedom and closeness with God when he acknowledged how God was working in his life.
I don't think God is put off when we wrestle with disappointment and frustration. True gratefulness doesn't have to be an obnoxious, over-the-top optimism. It doesn't mean we won't grieve through legitimate heartbreaks and hard times. Living in gratefulness does make us more keenly aware of how God is working.
Being grateful people helps us to get over ourselves and get caught up in what He's doing all around us.
I am choosing gratitude.
Maycee Quinn Halcrow.
7 pounds and 10 oz of pure love was born yesterday. She was a tiny 20 inches long, but I know she's going to be brave and beautiful.
I am rejoicing with you, Kev and Jen! :) I love you all to pieces, and can't wait to hold my baby cousin and kiss her darling cheeks.
I am rejoicing with you, Kev and Jen! :) I love you all to pieces, and can't wait to hold my baby cousin and kiss her darling cheeks.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I hold on.
I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that trys to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew
But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering
There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always
I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone
Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting
I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing….
There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
There will be a day, He’ll wipe away the stains, He’ll wipe away the tears, He’ll wipe away the tears…..there will be a day.
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that trys to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew
But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering
There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always
I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone
Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting
I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing….
There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
There will be a day, He’ll wipe away the stains, He’ll wipe away the tears, He’ll wipe away the tears…..there will be a day.
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