Waiting is hard, but Waiting is GOOD.

I could try to justify my impatience, but the truth is this: I hate waiting. Waiting drives me crazy; it seems so pointless sometimes.
That kind of impatience leads to the occasional holy nudge to slow down and realize something particularly wonderful: God speaks to me in my waiting. So far, some of the most beautiful moments I've spent with Him have happened while I'm just waiting.
So much of my time is spent waiting. I waited for high school to end so college to start. Not even a semester into college, I started daydreaming about that glorious day when college would be over and I never, ever have to take another multiple choice test. Now I'm waiting for love. I spend quite a bit of time thinking about how fun it will be to be married, because I'm still waiting for the sweet, wonderful man of God to be placed in my life.
I live for carpe diem opportunities~ days when I spin into a whirlwind of busy fun chaos, not weeks and months that require patience and waiting. Despite my "peek at Christmas presents under the tree" mentality, God is patiently teaching my some lovely truths about my wait.
The first is this: I can wait with anticipation, not anxiety, on what He has promised me in His Word. "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." Isaiah 40:31a. My deepest hopes and desires were laced into my heart by God. His plan for me is a good plan that provides and brings hope. Even when I think my story is at a lull, He's working all things together for our good. His Sovereignty is like a rope pulling me through all that muddy insecurity and loneliness that comes from a long wait. When I look at all those stories about people in the Bible who were frustrated by waiting, the end result is always the same: God is faithful.
The second thing is this: He still works through me in my waiting. Ironically, some of my favorite pieces of spontaneous music to Jesus in the last year happened when I was sitting in an empty classroom preparing for anatomy. I always think I have to be somewhere beautiful to sing: somewhere near an ocean or in a cabin up in the mountains. Sunsets over the water always inspire song. But so does the sun reflecting off the spinning rims of a purple car just outside a classroom. Even when I feel stuck, there's still plenty of beautiful things in my life. I just have to watch and see.
And finally~ and this one is really hard for me~ God is teaching me what it means to be a woman of resolve and not give up when the wait seems really long. I've been reading the book of Ruth (again); She was no stranger to waiting and uncertainty. There's a scene in the beginning I find particularly convicting. Ruth, Orpah, and Naomi were all on the road to Judah, the land where God was providing for His people. When doubts started to sizzle and pop, (just as they do for me when the road seems totally unclear), Orpah gave up, turned around and walked back to Moab.
In many situations, I have the same choice those women did: I can be the girl who runs back, who couldn't wait, who wouldn't move forward because the answers weren't crystal clear. Or I can be the girl of resolve, who keeps moving ahead, even when the wait is long, because I'm confident in God's provision.
Some of the brightest and most beautiful moments in a lifetime come at the end of a long wait~ graduations, great jobs, marriage, motherhood, traveling, missions trips. I am a work in progress, too, and God is always at work in me, always knitting together the details of the woman He has called me to be.
I haven't been forgotten, left out, or left behind. "Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." I want to lock arms with Jesus and move forward with Him, running ahead even when everyone else gives up. And if He asks me to wait, I'll wait and let Him work in me through that part of the journey, too.

In His hands, even the wait becomes something beautiful.