There are two bowls.
Bowl # 1~ completely upside down. always pouring out onto others who need it. Never ever flipped upright. Never full itself, but always striving to give.
Bowl #2~ Sitting upright and comfortably on the firm foundation of the table. constantly being filled up with "milk"... so much so that it is overflowing! Leaking out onto it's surroundings... onto the other bowls that may be lacking in liquid. Always full, but always giving.
Which bowl is more effective? Both have good intentions, but which has more power to love, to serve, to speak truth?
I want to be bowl number 2. End of story.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Just Keep Rowing.
People fail.
Parents fail. Professors fail. Students fail. Children fail. Nannies fail. Pastors fail. Leaders fail. Friends fail. I fail.
People fail.
God NEVER fails.
So when this day found me walking through with no one by my side, I had to remind myself of this very fact. Not once, not twice, not ten times. Constantly. God never fails. GOD never fails. God NEVER fails. God never FAILS. GOD NEVER FAILS. It became my mantra for today, something I began to whisper to myself when the tears perched on my eyelids were about to give way to the pressure and take a ride down my cheeks.
People fail. God never fails.
Over the past few weeks, this lie had been festering in my heart. A lie that had been spoken to me, to my face, that I took as truth. I chose to claim it and make it a part of my identity. Scary. "When you choose to look at 'waiting on the Lord' as a season of life, you are living in sin." Whoa. For weeks I have had this rolling through my head, silently begging myself to just STOP waiting. But I didn't (nor I do I presently) know how this was feasible. I found it impossible to STOP waiting. It simply is where I am at. I am waiting. I am in the "not yet" season of my life, where God has not yet chosen to reveal the next step of the way for His daughter. I was slowly become crippled by the fear that I couldn't escape this "sin"... that I had no way out. I was questioning my desire to be a nurse, a wife, a mother. I was questioning my identity in Christ. I was broken. Broken and hurting, just trying to find a way out of this frightening reality.
Then, by God's Sovereign grace, I was led to this passage of His perfect Word~
"Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After leaving them, he went up on a mountainside to pray. Later that night, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, 'Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.' Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened." Mark 6:45-52
He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. This just brought me to tears. The disciples in this passage are in the "not yet". God had not chosen to reveal the totality of Himself. He chose to watch them struggle and wane, as they grew increasingly fearful and full of despair. I was struck today that I TOO am in a "not yet" season. I am asking questions which I'm sure are similar to that of the disciples~ "Why?", "How can this be doing any good?" Suffering is to be expected. I am a firm believer that I can be truly walking in His ways, seeking His face, and still be bombarded with pain, with WAITING.
Wind. Harsh, Cold, Menacing. I feel as though "wind" could be a myriad of struggles, pain, and sufferings. Whether it be a crippling addiction, lack of self worth, selfish friends, death of a loved one, unfaithfulness in marriage, abuse from a parent, favoritism on the court or field, foolish gossip... the wind is awful. Will it ever just change directions and blow the other way??
So what do we do? What do we do when we are fighting against the "wind" (whatever that may be) in our lives? What do we do when the next step in unclear and the waters below are murky and deep? What to we do when the oars have left bloody blisters and we don't think we can row even one more time?
I am choosing to praise Him. I will praise the One who paid my debts and raised this life up from dead. I will praise Him while I am sitting in the "not yet" seasons of the boat ride. I will have immense hope that God IS watching and He DOES have a most perfect, lovely plan. Though the mountains are high and the tide is rushing in, my God is there. He ALWAYS comes through. I will keep rowing. Though my hands may be bloody and blistered, and I may have to grit my teeth through every push and pull... I will keep rowing. I will keep pushing through and not miss what God might have for me HERE... IN the "not yet." I will fight. I will fight hard. I will fight hard, but with humility... for I know that without His strength, I couldn't row one more time.
So while the end of this day finds me still broken, still hurting, still rowing with tired arms and foggy glasses... I am freed from the lie that waiting is a sin. Sometimes, God calls us to wait... and right now, He is calling ME to wait. He is calling me to sit calmly in His boat, row with all my heart, all my mind, and all my strength... and wait on Him. Because He WILL reveal Himself... when He steps on the boat, the wind ceases. It's just "not yet".
People fail. God NEVER fails.
So for now, I will sit in Jesus' boat, and Just.Keep.Rowing... praising His name all the day long.
Parents fail. Professors fail. Students fail. Children fail. Nannies fail. Pastors fail. Leaders fail. Friends fail. I fail.
People fail.
God NEVER fails.
So when this day found me walking through with no one by my side, I had to remind myself of this very fact. Not once, not twice, not ten times. Constantly. God never fails. GOD never fails. God NEVER fails. God never FAILS. GOD NEVER FAILS. It became my mantra for today, something I began to whisper to myself when the tears perched on my eyelids were about to give way to the pressure and take a ride down my cheeks.
People fail. God never fails.
Over the past few weeks, this lie had been festering in my heart. A lie that had been spoken to me, to my face, that I took as truth. I chose to claim it and make it a part of my identity. Scary. "When you choose to look at 'waiting on the Lord' as a season of life, you are living in sin." Whoa. For weeks I have had this rolling through my head, silently begging myself to just STOP waiting. But I didn't (nor I do I presently) know how this was feasible. I found it impossible to STOP waiting. It simply is where I am at. I am waiting. I am in the "not yet" season of my life, where God has not yet chosen to reveal the next step of the way for His daughter. I was slowly become crippled by the fear that I couldn't escape this "sin"... that I had no way out. I was questioning my desire to be a nurse, a wife, a mother. I was questioning my identity in Christ. I was broken. Broken and hurting, just trying to find a way out of this frightening reality.
Then, by God's Sovereign grace, I was led to this passage of His perfect Word~
"Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After leaving them, he went up on a mountainside to pray. Later that night, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, 'Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.' Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened." Mark 6:45-52
He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. This just brought me to tears. The disciples in this passage are in the "not yet". God had not chosen to reveal the totality of Himself. He chose to watch them struggle and wane, as they grew increasingly fearful and full of despair. I was struck today that I TOO am in a "not yet" season. I am asking questions which I'm sure are similar to that of the disciples~ "Why?", "How can this be doing any good?" Suffering is to be expected. I am a firm believer that I can be truly walking in His ways, seeking His face, and still be bombarded with pain, with WAITING.
Wind. Harsh, Cold, Menacing. I feel as though "wind" could be a myriad of struggles, pain, and sufferings. Whether it be a crippling addiction, lack of self worth, selfish friends, death of a loved one, unfaithfulness in marriage, abuse from a parent, favoritism on the court or field, foolish gossip... the wind is awful. Will it ever just change directions and blow the other way??
So what do we do? What do we do when we are fighting against the "wind" (whatever that may be) in our lives? What do we do when the next step in unclear and the waters below are murky and deep? What to we do when the oars have left bloody blisters and we don't think we can row even one more time?
I am choosing to praise Him. I will praise the One who paid my debts and raised this life up from dead. I will praise Him while I am sitting in the "not yet" seasons of the boat ride. I will have immense hope that God IS watching and He DOES have a most perfect, lovely plan. Though the mountains are high and the tide is rushing in, my God is there. He ALWAYS comes through. I will keep rowing. Though my hands may be bloody and blistered, and I may have to grit my teeth through every push and pull... I will keep rowing. I will keep pushing through and not miss what God might have for me HERE... IN the "not yet." I will fight. I will fight hard. I will fight hard, but with humility... for I know that without His strength, I couldn't row one more time.
So while the end of this day finds me still broken, still hurting, still rowing with tired arms and foggy glasses... I am freed from the lie that waiting is a sin. Sometimes, God calls us to wait... and right now, He is calling ME to wait. He is calling me to sit calmly in His boat, row with all my heart, all my mind, and all my strength... and wait on Him. Because He WILL reveal Himself... when He steps on the boat, the wind ceases. It's just "not yet".
People fail. God NEVER fails.
So for now, I will sit in Jesus' boat, and Just.Keep.Rowing... praising His name all the day long.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
...and the list keeps going.
TODAY, I am thankful for~
cozy slippers, scrubs in every color imaginable, faithful friends, unexpected gifts that God just knew you needed, hugs that make you grunt, carefully crafted kid's paintings, talented photographers that document life and its memories, sweet text mesages, and highlighters.
What are you thankful for today?
cozy slippers, scrubs in every color imaginable, faithful friends, unexpected gifts that God just knew you needed, hugs that make you grunt, carefully crafted kid's paintings, talented photographers that document life and its memories, sweet text mesages, and highlighters.
What are you thankful for today?
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Once Upon a Snow Day :)
TODAY I am thankful for..... Random snow days :) Two days ago we were in shorts and t-shirts, but today we were pullin out snow gear. We have officially experienced all four seasons in four days. WHOA, Jesus. That's pretty cool :) Thanks for the Winter Wonderland today!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Dear Baby Girl,
It's Valentine's Day today, sweet girl. The day of Love. I want you to know that when February 14 rolls around every year... I will love you. If you are cuddled up on the couch watching sappy movies, I'll cuddle with you. If you are baking cupcakes with friends, I will play the best music for you all to dance to. And finally, if you are celebrating with your sweetheart, I will pray with you before you leave on your date. Know that no matter where this day finds you each year, you are so loved. You are loved by the God of the Universe who came down from heaven to save YOU. To save YOUR soul. That is pretty romantic. The way God loves you is amazing, honey. Last but not least, I love you. I love you so much and am praying for you before I even know who your daddy will be :)
Happy Valentine's Day, little love.
~Mommy
Happy Valentine's Day, little love.
~Mommy
Sunday, February 13, 2011
February 14.
Today I am thankful for...
1. Pink and red.
2. Candy hearts.
3. Roses.
4. Candlelight Dinners.
5. Love Letters.
6. Kisses on the Lips.
7. Surprises.
8. Cupcakes.
9. Romantic Movies.
10. Love... in all it shapes and forms.
Whether you are curled up in a quilt watching movies alone this Valentine's Day or out celebrating with your sweetheart... I hope you treasure the Ultimate Love that came to the world to save our sinful souls. THAT is pretty romantic.
1. Pink and red.
2. Candy hearts.
3. Roses.
4. Candlelight Dinners.
5. Love Letters.
6. Kisses on the Lips.
7. Surprises.
8. Cupcakes.
9. Romantic Movies.
10. Love... in all it shapes and forms.
Whether you are curled up in a quilt watching movies alone this Valentine's Day or out celebrating with your sweetheart... I hope you treasure the Ultimate Love that came to the world to save our sinful souls. THAT is pretty romantic.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The Stage :)
There's something really special about being on a stage... being exposed to the lights, the costumes, the chemistry between characters. I thought perhaps that when college started, this passion in me would be dimmed, maybe even completely burn out. But no! Friends, this passion has just deepened. I find myself LONGING to be on a stage... hear the noises, see the sights, smell the sweat, taste the hairspray. Today I decided that high school was NOT my last time performing. This is just simply a hiatus :) Excited to see what God might have planned for me musically, theatrically, and vocally. It's going to be pretty great, I just know it!
mmmmmm... the stage :)
mmmmmm... the stage :)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
180.
A week of pain, confusion, hurting, wondering, questioning, anger, doubt, fear... and sadness.
COMPLETELY turned around to be a week of joy, faith, understanding, compassion, passion, sincerity, hope... and LOVE.
Yep, it's been a 180 kind of week. SO thankful for the Sovereignty of God in every area of my life... ready to get back in the ring and fight for the pursuit of holiness!
“We plot. We plan. We assume things are going to go a certain way. And when they don’t, we find ourselves in a new place-a place we haven’t been before, a place we never would have imagined on our own. It is the difficult and the unexpected, and maybe even the tragic, that opens us up and frees us to see things in new ways.Many of the most significant moments in our lives come not because it all went right but because it all fell apart.Suffering does that. It hurts, but it also creates.”
Ready for a week spent reveling in the beauty of His goodness,
Nanny Lyss
COMPLETELY turned around to be a week of joy, faith, understanding, compassion, passion, sincerity, hope... and LOVE.
Yep, it's been a 180 kind of week. SO thankful for the Sovereignty of God in every area of my life... ready to get back in the ring and fight for the pursuit of holiness!
“We plot. We plan. We assume things are going to go a certain way. And when they don’t, we find ourselves in a new place-a place we haven’t been before, a place we never would have imagined on our own. It is the difficult and the unexpected, and maybe even the tragic, that opens us up and frees us to see things in new ways.Many of the most significant moments in our lives come not because it all went right but because it all fell apart.Suffering does that. It hurts, but it also creates.”
Ready for a week spent reveling in the beauty of His goodness,
Nanny Lyss
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I serve a really great God.
WHOA.
Seriously, my amazing amazing amazing God?! You are wayyyy too good to me. I am just blown away today at how God ornately chooses to orchestrate my life. It's so beautiful to be aware of! A few days of pain and confusion, followed by oh so much joy! I am just elated that I get to serve such a magnificent God... One who calls me His daughter, His bride, His FRIEND. I am humbled that I will forever get to sit at His feet, bow before Him, and call Him my Father. I had the best conversation today with my lovely mentor and came to the conclusion that passion and sound doctrine absolutely go hand in hand. I could believe all the right truths and say all the right Bible verses and go to church every Sunday and still be SO empty. Because the truth is this~ life without passion and joy found in Jesus alone is absolutely not fulfilling. While there are days when I want to give up, throw in the towel, be done... There is always joy around the corner! I get to rest in the fact that there is FREEDOM found in my God. He gave us the Holy Spirit, and I always want to be aware of how He is working in my life as well as the lives around me. I have the freedom to dance before Him, kneel before Him, sing before Him, love before Him, be passionate before Him, worship before Him. To me, worship doesn't always mean standing stick straight in a pew and never allowing the Holy Spirit to work in my heart and completely overtake who I am. Worshipping Him means complete abandon.
Ah, my heart is full tonight. It's full, friends.
Seriously, my amazing amazing amazing God?! You are wayyyy too good to me. I am just blown away today at how God ornately chooses to orchestrate my life. It's so beautiful to be aware of! A few days of pain and confusion, followed by oh so much joy! I am just elated that I get to serve such a magnificent God... One who calls me His daughter, His bride, His FRIEND. I am humbled that I will forever get to sit at His feet, bow before Him, and call Him my Father. I had the best conversation today with my lovely mentor and came to the conclusion that passion and sound doctrine absolutely go hand in hand. I could believe all the right truths and say all the right Bible verses and go to church every Sunday and still be SO empty. Because the truth is this~ life without passion and joy found in Jesus alone is absolutely not fulfilling. While there are days when I want to give up, throw in the towel, be done... There is always joy around the corner! I get to rest in the fact that there is FREEDOM found in my God. He gave us the Holy Spirit, and I always want to be aware of how He is working in my life as well as the lives around me. I have the freedom to dance before Him, kneel before Him, sing before Him, love before Him, be passionate before Him, worship before Him. To me, worship doesn't always mean standing stick straight in a pew and never allowing the Holy Spirit to work in my heart and completely overtake who I am. Worshipping Him means complete abandon.
Ah, my heart is full tonight. It's full, friends.
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