Words.

I've been working on a letter to a dear friend this week and had gotten to the point of exhaustion. (Writing can be that way... oh so rewarding, but so frustrating, too!) I was tired of it. Sick of it. Frustrated. I wanted each word to flow together to create something beautiful.

It felt like I'd worked the words of hope, strength, and peace a million different ways and it still wasn't coming together. Early Wednesday morning, I trudged to the computer and started chopping, reworking, doing it all over again~ the whole time pushing down that still small Voice inside my heart.

"I'm here. Come to Me."

On the responsible days, I have my quiet time in the mornings. I sit in my favorite Adirondack chair on the front porch and usually have tea in my hand. But every once in a while, I put it off. I'll jump on the computer first. Or I'll write in my journal first. Or I'll listen to music. Or I'll decide to have my quiet time later in the day. Or, I'll skip it. *sigh* I genuinely hate the days when I spin into a whirlwind of meaningless chaos, and I choose not to spend time in God's Word. Without them, the day seems to drag on. The day seems to have lost meaning.

So, late Wednesday afternoon, the words still weren't coming together. I decided to stop. Do something different. Even shut down the computer. I did what I should have done to start with. I went downstairs and sat in my chair on the porch. I read Proverbs 3 for the 3rd day of the month. I had three versions out, just because I love reading the footnotes and comparing word choices... I also had The Message laying next to me. *Just a side note, I would absolutely never trade this paraphrased version of the Word of God in for the deep truths in versions such as the ESV or NAS or NIV. Sometimes I just enjoy the flow of the words and their simplicity. Nothing fancy or complicated.*

Just listen to this from the Message..."God can't stand pious poses but he delights in genuine prayers." And down a little further. "A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song." And another. "Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed." One last verse. "God smashes the pretensions of the arrogant; he stands with those who have no standing."

That was me...miserable, arrogant (trying to write without praying first), being hardheaded.

So,I just started talking to God. "I'm sorry, Lord. Help me. I need You. I can't do this without You."

No, I didn't finish the letter on Wednesday. The right words didn't land immediately in my thoughts. I finished today, but more important that getting my work done was getting my heart right. Living life in pursuit of holiness is a constant examination of my heart's motivation and my obedience to the heart and desires of God.

I love to write. I love to blog, text, email, and pen letters. But I need to remember Who's words are the fuel and food for my frail, sinful heart. They are God's Words. His Words are my favorite.

Thirst can always be followed by fulfillment when I am thirsting for God's Words.

Thankful,
Alyssa