One of my dearest and closest friends asked me to be in her wedding just over a week ago. It's been a whirlwind ever since! I don't think I'll ever quite be able to express my thankfulness and gratitude in words to sweet Caitlin for letting me be a part of such a special, beautiful time in her life. It has been nothing less than a complete joy and honor, and it has drawn me to the cross. Thank you, Caitlin.
God is good to give us love stories. He is good to fill our lives with men and women who desire to seek the heart of God, and pursue purity and relationship. He is good to give us intimate whispering and public outpourings of affection. He is good to give us hands to hold and eyes to gaze into. He is good to give us trials that can be worked through together, in unity. He is good to teach us and mold our hearts, preparing us for the next season of our love story.
He is good.
It's fair to say love has been at the forefront of my mind lately... between weddings, engagements, baby showers, and detailed depictions of long walks on the beach, my life has been happily bombarded with fairy tales. and I love it.
I went home this weekend, and brought my old children's Bible back with me to read to the boys. They patiently and respectfully listen to my adult Bible, (and we will still continue to integrate this in!), but I feel as though they will comprehend and understand more fully if we stick with the picture Bible for a couple more years :) SO, with love on the brain and a sudden urgency to read God's Word with boys... I read to them.
... and as I read, I began to cry. Perhaps it was exhaustion from the week. Perhaps it was the boys listening so intently with eyes wide and hearts open. Perhaps it was the overwhelming realization that my God DIED for me. for ME. For the boys. For my family and friends. Or perhaps it was a combination of all three. But nonetheless, I began to cry.
They nailed Jesus to the cross.
“Father, forgive them, ” Jesus gasped. “They don’t understand what they are doing.”
“You say you have come to rescue us!” people shouted. “But you can’t even rescue yourself!”
But they were wrong. Jesus could have rescued himself. A legion of angels would have flown to his side-if he’d called.
“If you were really the Son of God, you could just climb down off that cross!” they said.
And of course they were right. Jesus could have just climbed down. Actually, he could have just said a word and made it all stop. Like when he healed the little girl. And stilled the storm. And fed 5,000 people.
But Jesus stayed.
You see, they didn’t understand. It wasn’t the nails that kept Jesus there.
It was love.
LOVE.
For some reason, I hadn’t quite thought about it in those terms, and I was rendered speechless by the infinite power that was denied for the sake of love. The Gospel was presented simply and powerfully to five searching little eyes, and also to me.
Love took on a restored, revitalized meaning in the matter of seconds. Suddenly the colors of the bridesmaid dresses didn't seem to matter as much, and the waiting for my own prince charming was fulfilled once again by the most wonderful Man.
This year is not going to be without hardship. I'm in a new place, with new people, at a new (HUGE) school. I will be out of my comfort zone, and daily relying on the Lord's strength and guidance. But I am encouraged this morning. Encouraged that with the love of Christ, ordinary days will become extraordinary. He has filled my life with uncontainable joy, and will continue to walk before me, preparing the perfect path.
I realized that in the past year (which has been one of the most difficult, rewarding, joyous, and painful), it wasn't the nails that held me through heartbreak and suffering. It was love. Deep, desperate, longing love for the One who was mocked on my behalf. Our amazing God beckons us to nestle deep into the brokenness and find inexplicable comfort in His embrace. I have done this countless times, and I have been rescued from a pit so deep I could not fathom a way out of it. You may be wandering, searching, waiting, hoping, begging for mercy and for relief. I understand, and I hurt for you, but this year, I have learned about a part of myself I didn’t know existed.
As a follower of the Most High God, I must know and be thankful for the times when God places a crown of thorns of my head, allowing me to suffer and feel pain. I must feel the burden of the cross at different points in my life, and with the power of Christ Himself, I can say with confidence “I am choosing to bear the crown because I cannot live without the love…”
Tell Him, the One who knows your deepest fears and most secret desperation, that you are choosing the thorns... with gratitude.
And one day, not so far from now, I believe we will be made complete, and pain will cease completely.
Oh, Lord, come quickly.
But until then, I have surrendered my life as an offering, and am allowing the hands of the Father to carry me through what I think is impossible.
He will make known to you His boundless love, which allows us the strength to make it another day.
And another day.
And then, one glorious day, He will call for us.
Oh, how I love my Maker. If you are trying to pursue relationship out of forced conviction, you will miss out on the glory of falling in love with the Maker of your soul. There is such a difference between religion and relationship. I could not have survived without the latter, I assure you.
You see, the thing about the nails in this life is that they are temporary. We bear them because we know that we will lay our crowns at His feet in the blink of an eye. We will join Him for eternity, and will worship the One Who was scarred on our behalf.
I am praying for each of you as you begin your day. I am praying that you will see the crown of thorns as a promise. Yes, it is painful, and yes, sometimes we struggle under the weight of it, but no, it will not defeat us. Because Christ has already won the battle. So I claim victory as a follower of Jesus.
LOVE. I am thankful for weddings, best friends, bridesmaids, flowers, venues, and first looks.
LOVE. I am thankful for Jesus, the crown of thorns, suffering, scars, and renewed hope.
We praise Your name, Lord. For You are who You say You are.
You are, and always will be, enough.
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