It was a life-changing week in Southern California this week... and I don't use those words lightly. It really, truly was. Sometime, if we go out to coffee... we'll swap stories and I'll tell you why :)
But, for now, I'd like to highlight one more person in this gratitude challenge of mine. We grew up together. and we've been through a lot. A LOT. We've walked together through confusion, grief, joy, awkwardness, separation, excitement, fulfillment, growth, suffering, and LIFE. We've walked a whole lot of life together. and it's been beautiful. seriously seriously beautiful. Sit back for a while, and let me tell you about my bold friend, Kaylin Rae.
Sweet girl,
I'm remembering tonight, as I often do when I think about our friendship. I'm remembering the laughter, the tears, the anger, the disappointments, the love. Remember when we were really little, before our lives had crossed paths... and we didn't notice the grass stains on our jeans or the scuffs on our shoes? Remember when words exited the mouth so honest, so pure- we simply spoke from the goodness we saw in the world. We spoke from heart and soul, and never gave a thought to how it actually came out. Not one thought to whether or not what we said was offensive... we just lived life, protected by our parents, shielded from breakups, and enveloped in love.
Flash forward 12 or so years, and you have our little fourteen year old selves. Then flash forward five more years, and you have us now. Nineteen year old college students attempting to walk with Jesus and live out His perfect plan for our lives.
I am staring at the computer screen. I am staring at this half filled page. I am staring at my open Bible. I'm staring imaginatively at your beautiful face.
... and I'm realizing how much the years have steadied my hand. How much the years have attempted to quench my careless passion, and peel layers from my heart. I am boggled daily by the effort to not offend, to be politically correct, to say the right thing and speak love and truth over everyone.
Yet with you... our beautiful friendship has never been silent. In a world where love is so often translated into silence, ours has always been vocal. And it's such a gift.
The fact of the matter is, no matter how hard we tried, people get offended. WE got offended. Our little fourteen year old selves loved to argue and sinfully place blame and guilt.
It didn't matter if the undercurrent of what we said was grace rather than anger and we thought the difference should've been felt.
It didn't matter if we had carefully crafted my sentences and stance.
It didn't matter that we knew we didn't do confrontation well.
It didn't matter that we knew we loved each other so deeply.
Too often, some five or so years ago, offense was the new black, and I chose (sinfully) to wear it proudly. Seeking out wrongs where there weren't any, looking for a debate and a win.
I look back now, and see the time we wasted. Don't get me wrong, 87.452% of my memories with you are AMAZING ones, some of my most favorite in the whole world.
Yet I feel like this week was such a beautiful week of silent restoration, allowing Jesus to move and breathe life back into a friendship that He created and loves.
I want you to know that as we continue to grow together as friends and sisters, I am begging and praying for the heart of Christ. That His Words will be ours. That we'll have the gentle strength and grace that results in true relationship. Relationship. I love that word. The ability to share our hearts. We can share when we are led, and be silent when the leading isn't there. I'm praying that there will be a base line of love underneath every word, action, and thought... because THAT is Jesus.
Maybe, as always, the point isn't always to push and pull into a common-ness of thought or a mutual agreement in everything... but just to remember to seek His heart and sing His praises.
Our amazing God has knitted and formed our friendship in such a beautiful way, friend. He has created you to be bold and passionate. Our hearts are connected. Forever :) I love this season. I love the last season, too. and even the season before that.
I'm so thankful that you were in each one of the seasons these past six years... no matter how different each one might've looked.
Thank you for striving to be who God has called you to be. I am so proud of you. So overwhelmed that God chose us to be a part of His kingdom together.
I love you so much, Kaylin Rae.
Hugs,
Lyss :)
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