Beautiful? Impossible.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14.

I see beauty all around me.

I see beauty in the painted sunset skies, and the sticky kisses of a baby boy. I recognize it in the joy-filled eyes of the cancer patient. I discover it in the authentic sharing of stories.

I see beauty all around me.

But sometimes, I can't see it in the mirror.

The picture inside my heart of how I view myself- it has been distorted and skewed. I have prayed against this countless times, yet being good/intelligent/funny/"pretty" enough has always felt far beyond my reach.

I could sit for hours and pour over the list of things that have slowly reinforced that belief in me even more. Stories where I believed that I was worth leaving more than I'm worth fighting for. That I'm not valuable enough to be truly loved.

... each and every time, the fragile remains of that picture in my heart shattered into another million pieces.

You are not enough.

Lie.

No one will love you.

Lie.

Speaking about beauty is inappropriate. Worthless.

Lie.

So slowly, in this season, and probably the next ones, too... God is restoring my heart.

The reality is, it remains a daily struggle for me.

What do I see in my reflection? I see a broken, messy, ugly devastation. And I can't help but question how there can be beauty in all this rubble. Me? Beautiful? Impossible.

But I have immense, deep-rooted hope.

Because faithfully and consistently, my amazing Jesus responds by lovingly and gently showing me that beauty. The beauty that He molded from ashes.

He is creating LIFE out of the brokenness. I get glimpses every single day of the way He's working and moving.

I see beauty in so much. The lenses at which I view life are twofold: the gratitude lens... and the beauty lens.

Yet somehow I quickly became accustomed to changing those lenses to critique, comparison, and UN-gratefulness.

I'm fighting against this. I know that a healthy view of the beauty that God created will come solely from staring long and hard into the heart of God. I will catch my true reflection only when I see myself in His eyes.

In His eyes, I rest in the knowledge that I am enough... because He lives in me. and HE is enough.

In His eyes, I see the truth that I am desired, anointed, and sought after.

In His eyes, I weep with joy that He recklessly loves the beautiful mess named Alyssa.

So is my prayer for you and I today... that all of OUR lenses would be thrown off. Tossed out.

And instead, we would come to view all of life with God's clarity of vision.

We are treasured.
We are loved.
We are His.
We are beautiful.

The mirror lies, but the Maker of the stars never will.

Psalm 45:11, "The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord."

Love,
Lyss