Untied.

It was quiet in the house.

The dishwasher was loaded, and the heat turned back up... the tea pot filled and ready for its evening whistle and pour.

It had been a while since I just sat. in stillness. With nothing but melody and my own thoughts. So I sat. My orphaned soda sat on the table and the ice began to make the glass sweat. I just pulled my knees up into my chest and let my head rest for a moment.

I'm not sure where it came from. But I could feel it. That lump in my throat, the bubbling over of emotion.

The moment surfaced when Kim Walker sank her worshipful hooks into my skin and pulled out every ounce of emotion stored up over the course of the last season. The last season of learning to push aside, the last season of too busy, not enough time, being strong in the face of defeat.

My heart flowed through the tears, and I stretched out my weathered hands in abandonment, giving over the burdens that life had suddenly packed onto my back.

It feels good. It feels good to just FEEL.

We're so busy. We bustle around. Family. Friends. Work. School. Church. Responsibilities and deadlines.

Honestly, I sometimes wonder if we subconsciously pack our days SO full of other stuff in order to push aside the unpacking of what we've buried.

I am an emotional person. But I try to keep it all in check.

I didn't do that yesterday. There was so much freedom, my emotion completely untied from its restraints.

I've been told for years that emotion is dangerous. I grew up believing that emotions could not be trusted. They were deceiving and full of trickery. Nothing about emotion was real or lasting.

I was pointed to Jeremiah 17:9. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" The verse rings loud in my ears. and I don't disagree. If we relied only on emotion for direction, we'd most likely be in all kinds of trouble we never saw coming.

It's one thing to allow emotion to govern your life.

It's another thing to deny the value of emotion altogether.

I am made in the image of God, and I am emotional.

I wish that we'd stop telling ourselves otherwise, and just feel.

Love to you,
Alyssa