Because I was her.

I've been wanting to write about this for a while, but didn't quite know how to express my thoughts.
But today, I'm going to try.

Several Sundays ago, I went to evening church just like usual. I sat in the same general area I always sit, friends by my side. I was worshipping. Halfway through, there is a girl by my side. Maybe fifteen or sixteen. Her shoulder pressing into mine, not singing, eyes closed.

Later she explained quickly before going to her seat that she needed to feel God and thought if she could just stand close to me, she might be able to feel Him.

It was one of those moments where I couldn't carefully plan out what I was going to say or do. I had never experienced anything like this before. I'd never seen it happen. I'd never heard of it happening. It wasn't even on my scope of possibility. But there she was. There I was. Two girls who simply, desperately need Jesus.

I am hyper aware of my own need for Jesus. and it is because of this reason, that I simply wrapped my arm around her and continued to sing.

It was a wrinkle in time. Two songs played, and before I knew it, she was back in the vast crowd of people and I didn't see her again.

I didn't quite understand it at first. Couldn't quite comprehend what had happened. and why it had happened. But now I think I know why.

I was so sweetly reminded of that ravenous (I love that word) longing I once had to press against someone, anyone, who deeply knew Jesus.

I was her.

Looking at other people's faith and begging to have that. wondering how I could get it. I wanted depth. I needed closeness. I was jealous of the unswerving conviction.

I thought that maybe if one of those people with that amazing faith would just let me close enough, they'd let me in on their secret. I'd learn the routine. I'd mimic the obedience. I'd just follow them until I got it right. If I could just have that, then I'd feel close to Jesus. I'd understand His Word. I would pray really powerful prayers.

It would all finally make sense.

But this is what I've come to know: there is a big difference between closeness with people who love Jesus and closeness with Jesus Himself.

I absolutely love people. and I learn from people every single day.
"He who walks with the wise, grows wise." Proverbs 13:20.

But if I am yearning after closeness with Jesus, I won't find that by following anyone but Jesus Himself.

There have been countless whispers from the deepest corners of my heart, "Jesus, show me. Show me how to live life with You. Show me how to follow You. Show me how to be close to You, press into You, be more like You. Jesus, just show me. Show me today. Right now. Please, Jesus. Show me."

Countless whispers. and surely there will be a thousand more. Because following Jesus will never fit neatly into a formula.

Yes, He is found in churches. No doubt. But He's not just in church.

Jesus lives and breathes through every part of my day, every day. He's in my favorite song that comes on the radio and He's in the wild laughter among friends. He's in the bedtime snuggles, the morning hikes, and the afternoon nap.

I find Jesus when I quietly whisper my immense gratitude and choose to see the blessing woven though each step, each memory, each season.

So, to the sweet girl who came and stood next to me, here's what I want you to know:

If you seek Him, you will find Him.

He promises us that.

He loves you,
Lyss