It's okay to be little.

My dear friend sent me a text today that said: "You should write a blog today."

I laughed, and replied, "maybe I will." 

and I've sat here for the last several hours with no thoughts. zero. I never have zero thoughts. But that's where I'm at today.

So, naturally, I tried to think of a story I could tell.

And I immediately thought of this one:

I sat next to my very favorite eight year old on his bed, gathered the duvet around him and rubbed his forehead to help him calm and quiet. As we talked he told me he had questions about life. About God.

He asked me what heaven would be like, when we’d get to heaven and then who was in heaven now. Then he asked me if I get sad, and who makes it better since I don't have a husband yet (thanks, kid. haha). He asked me if I love a lot of people. He asked me if God gets mad when he gets scared. 

I realized then that so much of how I answered was based on the fact I knew he believed everything I said. 

He did not question that I was correct or that God was possibly not going to do what I said He would do, nor did he question me when I told him of God’s promises in the Bible.

When I told him God was going to provide all our needs, he didn’t doubt me for a second. When I said all who choose Jesus will have eternal life, he believed those words. When I told him that he would never be separated from God, he knew it was the truth.

It struck me how many times I’ve questioned those same truths. How many times I’ve struggled in my faith to find answers that stuck with me. How many times I’ve wondered if God was really there, really loved me, and really would never leave me.

Lately I’ve been feeling like during prayer God keeps reminding me to have childlike faith. To just receive what He wants to give me, with simple faith. Sometimes the thought occurs to me – imagine if I believed everything God said?

I have come to know that questioning is okay, and I have a faith in Jesus that can certainly be questioned and still stand strong. His Truth is a tower. I cling to the Holy Spirit that confirms Jesus’ words. However, I know when my head is believing but my heart is struggling.

And in those moments- when I don’t necessarily question the facts, but still struggle to have faith- those are the moments when I remind myself that I can be little. It's okay to be a child. 

I can let go, fall back into childlike faith, and let Jesus catch me. 

Love to you, 

Lyss