With school starting tomorrow, along with the knowledge that my life will once again be filled with homework and notecards... I seem to be in a major cleaning mode. In the past few days, the family and I have started tackling some home projects that we have been putting off for awhile. One of them (which I was DREADING) was cleaning out the closets and getting organized for fall. I was dreading it for a few reasons, not the least of which was that there were some gorgeous dresses in a size 4 that I knew God was calling me to surrender to the “in your dreams” pile. hahaha. I decided I need to take some pressure off myself about conforming to the world's standards, so I was pretty liberal with my tossing. I finally decided it needed to get done, so I set up camp in the middle of my room and dedicated this morning and afternoon to the cleanse. I turned on some Jesus Culture and started reaching for the piles.
About a half hour later, I was in tears.
I hadn’t expected it to be so mentally draining. Sometimes, I really REALLY feel like I see life in photographs. I remember the outfit I was wearing when I met my best friend for the first time. I remember the shoes I wore my very first day of high school, and the blankie I slept with every night until junior high. I remember the shirt I was wearing when I entered into the house I now call home. I remember the headband I was wearing when my sweet friend asked me to be in her wedding. I remember the clothing I was wearing the day I was mistreated and broken in a way no one should ever experience. I remember the exact jeans I had on the day I found out my dad was in the hospital. I even remember the earrings I was wearing when I got a C on my anatomy exam that I had worked so hard to study for. I remember the bathing suit that I was wearing the first time Charlie and I jumped in the pool hand-in-hand. I remember the scarf I wore when I knelt before my amazing God and gave Him my WHOLE life, all of me.
I was missing Redding today, but in a different way. A way that I can't really describe. Perhaps because the outfits I put on now will have photographs attached from HERE. From this NEW place, with these NEW people. They won't be moments from The Stirring, or moments at the Echols, or moments with The Bride down the street. It seems like at this point, the hardest moments come in ways that are totally unexpected.
I sat on my floor and dreamed of the special moments of last year, with His beautiful people, for awhile. I miss them so much, and I daily mourn the loss of the little moments of life I take for granted with the people God has placed in my life.
As I made my way into my closet, I felt so heavy with sadness. I started throwing the too-small dresses into a giant bag while I had a little “conversation” with God. It was pretty one-sided.
At least it was at first.
After a few minutes, I looked up and saw the Carolyn walking toward me, carrying the bag that has her wedding dress in it. She was moving it to the garage. When I talk about “the Lord speaking to me,” it is in a time like this, when I feel a prompting to do something and I know that it is coming from Him. In this moment, I felt like I needed to unzip the bag. It seemed a little odd, but I know Him well enough to know that I should just obey the urging and let Him guide me to where I am supposed to be. I asked my sweet cousin, and she happily handed over the bag and headed upstairs to finish her own cleaning. I unzipped the bag and tuned my ear to a posture of listening.
I pulled the bottom of the dress out of the bag and the train came spilling out. I spread it out on the ground and studied it as visions of weddings began to dance through my head. I started to relax and my eyes drifted to the edges of the train. And I saw the most incredible, unexpected thing.
The hem of the gown is dirty. Really dirty.
And I know how it got that way. She walked down a church aisle, took photographs in the grass, and danced and ate her way to happiness. She lived in it.
And so I sat on my floor asking the Lord to show me why He had brought me here. I closed my eyes and imagined the hem of each wedding dress I had seen on a beautiful bride dancing with her new husband.
“… I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Revelation 21:2-5
I couldn’t remember the whole scripture in that exact moment, but the words “You are the bride of Christ” came to mind. I suddenly had an image in my mind of myself in a glorious white gown that floated all around me. A seemingly endless train chasing after me as I walked.
And then, Him.
I couldn’t see Him in my mind, but I felt a great peace as I imagined my hands, clutching at fabric all around me so I could run to where He was. I saw myself, falling before Him as my dirty gown settled all around me. Dirty from the hurt and the disappointment. Dirty from the dancing in joy. Dirty from years of memory making with friends. Dirty from loving deeply, richly, completely. Dirty from the fears, the dreams, the sorrow, the confusion. Dirty from the laughter, the regrets, the mistakes, the injustice of this world.
Stained by this life I have walked while my Savior whispered, “One day I will wipe your tears, my sweet bride…”
What a glorious hem surrounds us all. It follows us wherever we go, gathering up pieces of this life in anticipation of the glorious day we will meet Jesus face to face.
And one day, I will bow to the King of Kings, and I will worship Him.
And as He wipes the tears from my eyes, I will ask Him the question that cannot be answered fully from a closet floor... "Why did you bring me here, Lord?"
And in the meantime, I will start to think of my days like a wedding photograph. I will walk, veiled, down this long aisle, in breathless anticipation of the day that awaits me.
I will trust in the One who will make all things new in His time.
I will keep my eyes on He who waits for me.
I will.
Or rather, I do.
Thank you, Lord. May my life be an offering that brings You glory…,
Alyssa
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Let the Waters Rise.
We all have them. Psalm 38 days; days when skies are gray and tears fall easy and breathing seems hard. So yesterday I read Psalm 38 over and over.
Then I listened to my favorite Jesus Culture song (for the moment)- One Thing Remains. And I prayed.
I woke up today and I can breathe. New mercies. Grace upon grace.
He seeps into the dark of our brokenness and brings light and life.
He comforts. Before the Bread of Life was shared, it was broken. Jesus died. And as one marked by His love, He takes me there. To His dying and rising.
I will face brokenness in life. I will face pain. I will face suffering.
I have been washed over.
I have been plowed under.
But I have been called to walk in newness of life. I get to walk in the confidence that I serve a Sovereign, Perfect God.
He is the true Bread of Life.
And He said, "Take, eat, this is my body which was broken for you. Take, drink, this is my blood which is shed for you for the remission of sins."
Life has been given. Freedom is here.
So today, I am thankful to soak in forgiveness. And I am thankful for the One who went so willingly, who gives so fearlessly.
The One in whose heart I have found true Hope.
The One who takes these tattered pieces of my life and makes me new. So that I might be poured out on others.
Today, I am saying thank you for brokenness.
Then I listened to my favorite Jesus Culture song (for the moment)- One Thing Remains. And I prayed.
I woke up today and I can breathe. New mercies. Grace upon grace.
He seeps into the dark of our brokenness and brings light and life.
He comforts. Before the Bread of Life was shared, it was broken. Jesus died. And as one marked by His love, He takes me there. To His dying and rising.
I will face brokenness in life. I will face pain. I will face suffering.
I have been washed over.
I have been plowed under.
But I have been called to walk in newness of life. I get to walk in the confidence that I serve a Sovereign, Perfect God.
He is the true Bread of Life.
And He said, "Take, eat, this is my body which was broken for you. Take, drink, this is my blood which is shed for you for the remission of sins."
Life has been given. Freedom is here.
So today, I am thankful to soak in forgiveness. And I am thankful for the One who went so willingly, who gives so fearlessly.
The One in whose heart I have found true Hope.
The One who takes these tattered pieces of my life and makes me new. So that I might be poured out on others.
Today, I am saying thank you for brokenness.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Weddings, Suffering, and the Crown of Thorns.
One of my dearest and closest friends asked me to be in her wedding just over a week ago. It's been a whirlwind ever since! I don't think I'll ever quite be able to express my thankfulness and gratitude in words to sweet Caitlin for letting me be a part of such a special, beautiful time in her life. It has been nothing less than a complete joy and honor, and it has drawn me to the cross. Thank you, Caitlin.
God is good to give us love stories. He is good to fill our lives with men and women who desire to seek the heart of God, and pursue purity and relationship. He is good to give us intimate whispering and public outpourings of affection. He is good to give us hands to hold and eyes to gaze into. He is good to give us trials that can be worked through together, in unity. He is good to teach us and mold our hearts, preparing us for the next season of our love story.
He is good.
It's fair to say love has been at the forefront of my mind lately... between weddings, engagements, baby showers, and detailed depictions of long walks on the beach, my life has been happily bombarded with fairy tales. and I love it.
I went home this weekend, and brought my old children's Bible back with me to read to the boys. They patiently and respectfully listen to my adult Bible, (and we will still continue to integrate this in!), but I feel as though they will comprehend and understand more fully if we stick with the picture Bible for a couple more years :) SO, with love on the brain and a sudden urgency to read God's Word with boys... I read to them.
... and as I read, I began to cry. Perhaps it was exhaustion from the week. Perhaps it was the boys listening so intently with eyes wide and hearts open. Perhaps it was the overwhelming realization that my God DIED for me. for ME. For the boys. For my family and friends. Or perhaps it was a combination of all three. But nonetheless, I began to cry.
They nailed Jesus to the cross.
“Father, forgive them, ” Jesus gasped. “They don’t understand what they are doing.”
“You say you have come to rescue us!” people shouted. “But you can’t even rescue yourself!”
But they were wrong. Jesus could have rescued himself. A legion of angels would have flown to his side-if he’d called.
“If you were really the Son of God, you could just climb down off that cross!” they said.
And of course they were right. Jesus could have just climbed down. Actually, he could have just said a word and made it all stop. Like when he healed the little girl. And stilled the storm. And fed 5,000 people.
But Jesus stayed.
You see, they didn’t understand. It wasn’t the nails that kept Jesus there.
It was love.
LOVE.
For some reason, I hadn’t quite thought about it in those terms, and I was rendered speechless by the infinite power that was denied for the sake of love. The Gospel was presented simply and powerfully to five searching little eyes, and also to me.
Love took on a restored, revitalized meaning in the matter of seconds. Suddenly the colors of the bridesmaid dresses didn't seem to matter as much, and the waiting for my own prince charming was fulfilled once again by the most wonderful Man.
This year is not going to be without hardship. I'm in a new place, with new people, at a new (HUGE) school. I will be out of my comfort zone, and daily relying on the Lord's strength and guidance. But I am encouraged this morning. Encouraged that with the love of Christ, ordinary days will become extraordinary. He has filled my life with uncontainable joy, and will continue to walk before me, preparing the perfect path.
I realized that in the past year (which has been one of the most difficult, rewarding, joyous, and painful), it wasn't the nails that held me through heartbreak and suffering. It was love. Deep, desperate, longing love for the One who was mocked on my behalf. Our amazing God beckons us to nestle deep into the brokenness and find inexplicable comfort in His embrace. I have done this countless times, and I have been rescued from a pit so deep I could not fathom a way out of it. You may be wandering, searching, waiting, hoping, begging for mercy and for relief. I understand, and I hurt for you, but this year, I have learned about a part of myself I didn’t know existed.
As a follower of the Most High God, I must know and be thankful for the times when God places a crown of thorns of my head, allowing me to suffer and feel pain. I must feel the burden of the cross at different points in my life, and with the power of Christ Himself, I can say with confidence “I am choosing to bear the crown because I cannot live without the love…”
Tell Him, the One who knows your deepest fears and most secret desperation, that you are choosing the thorns... with gratitude.
And one day, not so far from now, I believe we will be made complete, and pain will cease completely.
Oh, Lord, come quickly.
But until then, I have surrendered my life as an offering, and am allowing the hands of the Father to carry me through what I think is impossible.
He will make known to you His boundless love, which allows us the strength to make it another day.
And another day.
And then, one glorious day, He will call for us.
Oh, how I love my Maker. If you are trying to pursue relationship out of forced conviction, you will miss out on the glory of falling in love with the Maker of your soul. There is such a difference between religion and relationship. I could not have survived without the latter, I assure you.
You see, the thing about the nails in this life is that they are temporary. We bear them because we know that we will lay our crowns at His feet in the blink of an eye. We will join Him for eternity, and will worship the One Who was scarred on our behalf.
I am praying for each of you as you begin your day. I am praying that you will see the crown of thorns as a promise. Yes, it is painful, and yes, sometimes we struggle under the weight of it, but no, it will not defeat us. Because Christ has already won the battle. So I claim victory as a follower of Jesus.
LOVE. I am thankful for weddings, best friends, bridesmaids, flowers, venues, and first looks.
LOVE. I am thankful for Jesus, the crown of thorns, suffering, scars, and renewed hope.
We praise Your name, Lord. For You are who You say You are.
You are, and always will be, enough.
God is good to give us love stories. He is good to fill our lives with men and women who desire to seek the heart of God, and pursue purity and relationship. He is good to give us intimate whispering and public outpourings of affection. He is good to give us hands to hold and eyes to gaze into. He is good to give us trials that can be worked through together, in unity. He is good to teach us and mold our hearts, preparing us for the next season of our love story.
He is good.
It's fair to say love has been at the forefront of my mind lately... between weddings, engagements, baby showers, and detailed depictions of long walks on the beach, my life has been happily bombarded with fairy tales. and I love it.
I went home this weekend, and brought my old children's Bible back with me to read to the boys. They patiently and respectfully listen to my adult Bible, (and we will still continue to integrate this in!), but I feel as though they will comprehend and understand more fully if we stick with the picture Bible for a couple more years :) SO, with love on the brain and a sudden urgency to read God's Word with boys... I read to them.
... and as I read, I began to cry. Perhaps it was exhaustion from the week. Perhaps it was the boys listening so intently with eyes wide and hearts open. Perhaps it was the overwhelming realization that my God DIED for me. for ME. For the boys. For my family and friends. Or perhaps it was a combination of all three. But nonetheless, I began to cry.
They nailed Jesus to the cross.
“Father, forgive them, ” Jesus gasped. “They don’t understand what they are doing.”
“You say you have come to rescue us!” people shouted. “But you can’t even rescue yourself!”
But they were wrong. Jesus could have rescued himself. A legion of angels would have flown to his side-if he’d called.
“If you were really the Son of God, you could just climb down off that cross!” they said.
And of course they were right. Jesus could have just climbed down. Actually, he could have just said a word and made it all stop. Like when he healed the little girl. And stilled the storm. And fed 5,000 people.
But Jesus stayed.
You see, they didn’t understand. It wasn’t the nails that kept Jesus there.
It was love.
LOVE.
For some reason, I hadn’t quite thought about it in those terms, and I was rendered speechless by the infinite power that was denied for the sake of love. The Gospel was presented simply and powerfully to five searching little eyes, and also to me.
Love took on a restored, revitalized meaning in the matter of seconds. Suddenly the colors of the bridesmaid dresses didn't seem to matter as much, and the waiting for my own prince charming was fulfilled once again by the most wonderful Man.
This year is not going to be without hardship. I'm in a new place, with new people, at a new (HUGE) school. I will be out of my comfort zone, and daily relying on the Lord's strength and guidance. But I am encouraged this morning. Encouraged that with the love of Christ, ordinary days will become extraordinary. He has filled my life with uncontainable joy, and will continue to walk before me, preparing the perfect path.
I realized that in the past year (which has been one of the most difficult, rewarding, joyous, and painful), it wasn't the nails that held me through heartbreak and suffering. It was love. Deep, desperate, longing love for the One who was mocked on my behalf. Our amazing God beckons us to nestle deep into the brokenness and find inexplicable comfort in His embrace. I have done this countless times, and I have been rescued from a pit so deep I could not fathom a way out of it. You may be wandering, searching, waiting, hoping, begging for mercy and for relief. I understand, and I hurt for you, but this year, I have learned about a part of myself I didn’t know existed.
As a follower of the Most High God, I must know and be thankful for the times when God places a crown of thorns of my head, allowing me to suffer and feel pain. I must feel the burden of the cross at different points in my life, and with the power of Christ Himself, I can say with confidence “I am choosing to bear the crown because I cannot live without the love…”
Tell Him, the One who knows your deepest fears and most secret desperation, that you are choosing the thorns... with gratitude.
And one day, not so far from now, I believe we will be made complete, and pain will cease completely.
Oh, Lord, come quickly.
But until then, I have surrendered my life as an offering, and am allowing the hands of the Father to carry me through what I think is impossible.
He will make known to you His boundless love, which allows us the strength to make it another day.
And another day.
And then, one glorious day, He will call for us.
Oh, how I love my Maker. If you are trying to pursue relationship out of forced conviction, you will miss out on the glory of falling in love with the Maker of your soul. There is such a difference between religion and relationship. I could not have survived without the latter, I assure you.
You see, the thing about the nails in this life is that they are temporary. We bear them because we know that we will lay our crowns at His feet in the blink of an eye. We will join Him for eternity, and will worship the One Who was scarred on our behalf.
I am praying for each of you as you begin your day. I am praying that you will see the crown of thorns as a promise. Yes, it is painful, and yes, sometimes we struggle under the weight of it, but no, it will not defeat us. Because Christ has already won the battle. So I claim victory as a follower of Jesus.
LOVE. I am thankful for weddings, best friends, bridesmaids, flowers, venues, and first looks.
LOVE. I am thankful for Jesus, the crown of thorns, suffering, scars, and renewed hope.
We praise Your name, Lord. For You are who You say You are.
You are, and always will be, enough.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Documenting.
Henry and I have a love-hate relationship. We are truly like siblings. I tell him I love him multiple times a day :) I really think he secretly loves it. He is organized, determined, and is going to be a GREAT husband in many many MANY years!
Charlie goes with the flow. He is easy going and adventurous. He is not afraid to be crazy with me, and has no problem stepping outside of his comfort zone. He surprises me at the most random times with affection and sweet words. I love him.
Sam is wild. He is tough. He is strong-willed. He is a love-bug. He is the best snuggler in the house, and talks non-stop. He is beautifully hilarious, and I love him.
I transferred to Sacramento State University, where I'm going to continue to pursue nursing until my gracious God leads me in another direction.
I live in a converted play room with my cousins.
I am madly in love with one tree hill and gilmore girls.
I am in the process of finding a church to call family.
I have a secret desire (that's not so secret anymore!) to go to beauty school and sculpt hair for a living.
I have the most beautiful best friend who loves to dream big dreams and faithfully serve Jesus with me.
My hair is about three inches below my shoulders... I recently added bangs, and it will remain the dark mocha color that it has always been!
I LOVE to write. This passion of mine seems to be at its peak lately...
I would do just about anything for a three hour phone conversation with a friend about what the Lord is doing in our hearts and the hearts of those we love.
My brother is officially taller than me as of yesterday. Sad day.
Focused time spent with Jesus is my most favorite part of every day.
I listen to mostly Jesus Culture, Bethel Live, and various instrumental music.
I still hate coffee, but LOVE tea.
Part of me still misses junior high...
If you were to see me on any given day, I'd be wearing athletic shorts and a tank top, nikes, and a hat.... however, I LOVE the days when I actually get to shower and look presentable :)
I am blessed beyond measure.
..... Just Documenting.
Charlie goes with the flow. He is easy going and adventurous. He is not afraid to be crazy with me, and has no problem stepping outside of his comfort zone. He surprises me at the most random times with affection and sweet words. I love him.
Sam is wild. He is tough. He is strong-willed. He is a love-bug. He is the best snuggler in the house, and talks non-stop. He is beautifully hilarious, and I love him.
I transferred to Sacramento State University, where I'm going to continue to pursue nursing until my gracious God leads me in another direction.
I live in a converted play room with my cousins.
I am madly in love with one tree hill and gilmore girls.
I am in the process of finding a church to call family.
I have a secret desire (that's not so secret anymore!) to go to beauty school and sculpt hair for a living.
I have the most beautiful best friend who loves to dream big dreams and faithfully serve Jesus with me.
My hair is about three inches below my shoulders... I recently added bangs, and it will remain the dark mocha color that it has always been!
I LOVE to write. This passion of mine seems to be at its peak lately...
I would do just about anything for a three hour phone conversation with a friend about what the Lord is doing in our hearts and the hearts of those we love.
My brother is officially taller than me as of yesterday. Sad day.
Focused time spent with Jesus is my most favorite part of every day.
I listen to mostly Jesus Culture, Bethel Live, and various instrumental music.
I still hate coffee, but LOVE tea.
Part of me still misses junior high...
If you were to see me on any given day, I'd be wearing athletic shorts and a tank top, nikes, and a hat.... however, I LOVE the days when I actually get to shower and look presentable :)
I am blessed beyond measure.
..... Just Documenting.
Monday, August 1, 2011
You are Beautiful.
You're Beautiful.
I had the privilege of chatting with a sweet friend of mine recently... and I l hung up the phone knowing that it was going to eventually be part of a blog post. It was one of those conversations that made me realize just how much the devil is at work. Tearing homes apart, brewing sinful thoughts and deeds, and planting lies.
While insecurities about physical beauty so often in my brain seems to be one associated with junior high or fickle, self-absorbed teenagers... I realized once again the other day that this is not the case. It's real. It haunts girls, both young and old. So I spent some time with Jesus about it. Here's what He had to say to me through His Word.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
End. Of. Story.
This very well could be the end of the post, but as always, my mind is running, always swirling with thoughts for those I love.
Right now, as I'm writing this, I'm looking at the back side of my door, where I keep anything that inspires/encourages/challenges me~ quotes, notes, pictures, pieces of fabric (random, I know), projects the boys have drawn, and pretty much anything else people have given me that is "closet door stickable." I'd love to show it to you, because it's overflowing with wisdom and sweet words.
I especially wish you could see the pictures and letters from all of you. I have them tacked up all over. I have birthday cards, random encouraging notes, get-well-soon cards, and much more. I love getting mail. Whenever I get a letter or a note, or a card... I always get on FB to look at your faces. Just because I love you. and you know what I always think?
Beautiful.
Seriously.
I never looked as cute in my school pictures as you do. How do you do that?! And all you mamas out there, I seriously wonder how you do it! If I look half as cute as you all do someday, I'll be a happy girl.
Ironically, most of the girls I get letters from are girls who have felt un-pretty at some point. It's easy for me to open a letter, get on FB, and wonder what in the world is going through your brain when you think that. How could you possibly look in a mirror and not see how gorgeous you are? Sadder still, I have letters that detail the ways you've been made fun of, hurt, and picked on. I truly wish you each one of you were really here in person so we could get coffee and chat and pray together, because sometimes sending a hug to you virtually doesn't seem right.
So pretend we're in the swankiest coffee shop in town and we're hanging out, because as your unofficial big sister (or little sister, too!), there are a few things I think you should know about yourself. And if you already know them, I don't think it would hurt if you heard a bit of a reminder.
I have unruly hair and wear geeky glasses. I am far away from a size zero and have a not-so-nice complexion. Most girls get tan in the summer, I look like Bob-the-Tomato if I go outside without sunscreen. I'm the average height of most seventh graders and I hate wearing swimsuits as it produces some serious self-conscious tendencies........ The list could go on and on, because the longer I look, the easier it is to be critical about myself.
But when I sit and TRULY think about, LOVE invades my ordinary-ness. I read Psalm 45:11 this morning. Do you know what that says?
It says the King is enthralled by your beauty. Not just parts of your beauty, but ALL of you.
I love the image in Psalm 139 of God knitting us together in "the secret place." Long before anybody held you in her arms and fell in love with you, HE was in love with you. Every freckle and strand of hair and fleck of color in your eyes was intentional and beautiful to Him.
Every little personality quirk is all part of the fabric that makes you who you are~ a stand out, a one of a kind beautiful creation. I LOVE how Eugene Peterson says it in the Message~
"You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something."
You and I live in a world where beauty is a sad plastic imitation of the real thing. Real beauty is a thousand skin tones and languages, different smiles, personalities and hairstyles. Real beauty doesn't matter if you're wearing a frilly skirt and ballet flats or a basketball uniform. It has nothing to do with your jean size or your height.
It has everything to do with what He says about you. He says beauty is a heart place, not a physical place, and when He invades that sweet broken heart of yours, it is impossible not radiate beauty. I hope and pray that you'll look in the mirror and start to see what HE has said and affirmed in your life over and over.
He says that He loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). He says He's called you out of darkness and into freedom (Psalm 107:14)
You're not meant to blend. You're meant to shine like a bright star in the darkest night. You're meant to be unique and original. In other words, being yourself is beautiful.
I think I've finally made peace with how God has made me. While there are days when I wish I could see a different number on the inside of skirts or jeans, knowing He sees me as beautiful has helped me see it that way, too. Not in a prideful, puffed up way... but in a way that gives all the glory to the Creator. I know that all of my qualms, whether they're physical or emotional ones, matter to Him.
In a world full of plastic, I dare you to be beautiful. I dare you to let His love shine from your heart so bright the world can't help but notice.
You are desired.
You were originated in the mind of God; woven and spun into the leaving, breathing masterpiece you are.
Put simply~
You.Are.Beautiful :)
...and I love you so much!
~Lyss
I had the privilege of chatting with a sweet friend of mine recently... and I l hung up the phone knowing that it was going to eventually be part of a blog post. It was one of those conversations that made me realize just how much the devil is at work. Tearing homes apart, brewing sinful thoughts and deeds, and planting lies.
While insecurities about physical beauty so often in my brain seems to be one associated with junior high or fickle, self-absorbed teenagers... I realized once again the other day that this is not the case. It's real. It haunts girls, both young and old. So I spent some time with Jesus about it. Here's what He had to say to me through His Word.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
End. Of. Story.
This very well could be the end of the post, but as always, my mind is running, always swirling with thoughts for those I love.
Right now, as I'm writing this, I'm looking at the back side of my door, where I keep anything that inspires/encourages/challenges me~ quotes, notes, pictures, pieces of fabric (random, I know), projects the boys have drawn, and pretty much anything else people have given me that is "closet door stickable." I'd love to show it to you, because it's overflowing with wisdom and sweet words.
I especially wish you could see the pictures and letters from all of you. I have them tacked up all over. I have birthday cards, random encouraging notes, get-well-soon cards, and much more. I love getting mail. Whenever I get a letter or a note, or a card... I always get on FB to look at your faces. Just because I love you. and you know what I always think?
Beautiful.
Seriously.
I never looked as cute in my school pictures as you do. How do you do that?! And all you mamas out there, I seriously wonder how you do it! If I look half as cute as you all do someday, I'll be a happy girl.
Ironically, most of the girls I get letters from are girls who have felt un-pretty at some point. It's easy for me to open a letter, get on FB, and wonder what in the world is going through your brain when you think that. How could you possibly look in a mirror and not see how gorgeous you are? Sadder still, I have letters that detail the ways you've been made fun of, hurt, and picked on. I truly wish you each one of you were really here in person so we could get coffee and chat and pray together, because sometimes sending a hug to you virtually doesn't seem right.
So pretend we're in the swankiest coffee shop in town and we're hanging out, because as your unofficial big sister (or little sister, too!), there are a few things I think you should know about yourself. And if you already know them, I don't think it would hurt if you heard a bit of a reminder.
I have unruly hair and wear geeky glasses. I am far away from a size zero and have a not-so-nice complexion. Most girls get tan in the summer, I look like Bob-the-Tomato if I go outside without sunscreen. I'm the average height of most seventh graders and I hate wearing swimsuits as it produces some serious self-conscious tendencies........ The list could go on and on, because the longer I look, the easier it is to be critical about myself.
But when I sit and TRULY think about, LOVE invades my ordinary-ness. I read Psalm 45:11 this morning. Do you know what that says?
It says the King is enthralled by your beauty. Not just parts of your beauty, but ALL of you.
I love the image in Psalm 139 of God knitting us together in "the secret place." Long before anybody held you in her arms and fell in love with you, HE was in love with you. Every freckle and strand of hair and fleck of color in your eyes was intentional and beautiful to Him.
Every little personality quirk is all part of the fabric that makes you who you are~ a stand out, a one of a kind beautiful creation. I LOVE how Eugene Peterson says it in the Message~
"You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something."
You and I live in a world where beauty is a sad plastic imitation of the real thing. Real beauty is a thousand skin tones and languages, different smiles, personalities and hairstyles. Real beauty doesn't matter if you're wearing a frilly skirt and ballet flats or a basketball uniform. It has nothing to do with your jean size or your height.
It has everything to do with what He says about you. He says beauty is a heart place, not a physical place, and when He invades that sweet broken heart of yours, it is impossible not radiate beauty. I hope and pray that you'll look in the mirror and start to see what HE has said and affirmed in your life over and over.
He says that He loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). He says He's called you out of darkness and into freedom (Psalm 107:14)
You're not meant to blend. You're meant to shine like a bright star in the darkest night. You're meant to be unique and original. In other words, being yourself is beautiful.
I think I've finally made peace with how God has made me. While there are days when I wish I could see a different number on the inside of skirts or jeans, knowing He sees me as beautiful has helped me see it that way, too. Not in a prideful, puffed up way... but in a way that gives all the glory to the Creator. I know that all of my qualms, whether they're physical or emotional ones, matter to Him.
In a world full of plastic, I dare you to be beautiful. I dare you to let His love shine from your heart so bright the world can't help but notice.
You are desired.
You were originated in the mind of God; woven and spun into the leaving, breathing masterpiece you are.
Put simply~
You.Are.Beautiful :)
...and I love you so much!
~Lyss
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