Love. I love it. I really truly do.
I've been thinking about unconditional love this week, and what that looks like in the different areas in my life: as I'm with my family, my friends, the children.
... and I came to a conclusion: unconditional love cries. Because sometimes it just has to.
Psalm 56:8,"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book."
God knew I would cry. He created those tear ducts, after all! Sometimes there is SO much joy or sorrow in my life that without those tear ducts, I think I might explode.
He knew there would times of weeping, wailing even. He tells me so. Ecclesiastes 3:4.
He knew there would be days my soul would scratch with the emotional sackcloth of grief, confusion, and hurt. He said so. Psalm 30:11.
Sometimes, there's big things to cry about, like the death of a loved one or the horror of human trafficking. But today, I'm thinking about simply the living and growing things that lead to tears- encouraging thoughts from a mom, a skinned knee, kisses from a child, challenges with a friend or family member.
Sometimes, my friends and I cry over the same things. But sometimes it's the straw that breaks the camel's back that starts the torment of tears. I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. That one.last.thing. that puts us over the edge. The straw that for me might leaving you incredulously asking, "Seriously? She's crying over THAT?!" The straw that breaks you might leave me questioning the exact same thing.
That realization humbles me. Different catalysts have the potential to cause the "breaking point" where the heart's angst moves those tears from inside out.
Growing, learning, maturing, refining... it's not always easy. It hurts. And while there's no over-the-counter medication to help with growing pains... there are those beautiful tear ducts that God knew all along we would need :) and man, oh man. I am thankful for them!
In the last few years, there has been something new mixed in with my tears. Prayer. Scripture. Whispers of faith, of hope. Instead of turning grief, hurt, over-whelmedness inside, I turn it out. My prayers are spoken in tandem with those tears.
"Jesus, you are GOOD."
"Greater is He that's in me than he that's in the world."
"The Lord is my Rock, my Fortress, my Deliverer."
"Deliver me."
"Be with me."
"I trust you."
"He will not forsake me."
I cry because there is a need. For more of Him, and less of me. It affects not only today, but tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. And inside my soul, perhaps it's the helplessness, the overwhelming weight of betrayal, the solution blindness, the hurt, the frustration, the exasperation... it bubbles up like a shaken soda... and overflows onto the messiness of a desperate soul evidences by these tears that slip through those ducts that God made just for such an outpouring of need. An outpouring of need for HIM. I am desperate for Him.
Psalm 126:5, "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy."
One of my absolute favorite verses. I love the imagery. The tears I cry are not all about me, but also for the one I cry for. When I cry out of love, not selfishness, I love knowing that God blesses those tears. That love that was so filled to the brim that it overflows through the ducts.
I am sowing love through tears. Sowing prayer through tears. Sowing hope and faith through tears.
And my amazing, amazing God has collected those tears, recorded the story of each tear- and the prayer, the faith, the hope prayed with each tear.
Those tears will be reaped with songs of JOY! Songs in which I will dance and praise and laugh. Because He says so.
And I trust Him.
God was prepared for those tears. He was waiting to collect them.
So I'll keep loving deep. Because hurting deep just seems like a small price to pay in exchange for the blessing that comes from knowing that I am becoming more like my Father.
... and He loved the most deeply of all.
Excited for the plentiful harvest :)
You are loved,
Lyss :)
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