Who am I?

It's a new year. 2011 was one crazy, wild year. Academia, illness, moving, and lots and lots of learning.

I'm excited for 2012. A year of redemption and growth and new life.

I'm learning right now to simply "BE." I've spent nineteen years of my life on the go, with a solid plan. Where I was going, what I was going to do, who I would be doing it with. But God has slowly chosen to change every.single.one of those plans... for a purpose greater than I could ever imagine. I'm excited. Filled with hope and great anticipation.

If you know me at all, you know that I'm an emotional person. a passionate person. I love to love. It truly brings me great joy to tell people that I love them. To share in the journey of knowing Jesus, following Him, through patches of storm and through still waters, too.

In thinking about goals for this beautiful new year, I told a sweet friend of mine that perhaps my goal this year would be to, "keep my emotion in check. keep the passion in check. It's just overwhelming." She looked at me and said, "My question for you is WHY? Why would you ever want to downplay what God has done and is doing in your life?"

Lightbulb moment. Catering my life to the desires of man will always be disappointing. I have been given a passionate heart for Jesus and His people. What a blessing to be able to use those gifts for the glory of God!

A HUGE way I express my passion and love for people is through words. You've seen some of that on this blog! Whether it be through a birthday post, a scribbled note on a scrap piece of paper, or a letter written and sent in the mail... I write. I have for years.

It is not uncommon to hear the words, "You are beautiful" leave my lips as I am talking with a sister in Christ. It's also not uncommon to hear the words, "I am so so thankful for you" and "I love you." In fact, it's more of a rarity if you don't hear them. God has instilled in me a love for people. A love for speaking His truth over the people I'm allowed to come in contact with.

Sometimes, for the receiver, that's uncomfortable. It's overwhelming. It may seem odd or unnecessary. So I began to really examine WHY I write. WHY I speak. WHY I use my words in the way I do. Thus the break from the blog and just from writing in general.

And a few days ago, I stumbled upon THIS website: www.megborders.com. It was one of those things where I clicked a link, then another link, then another link... and finally ended up here =]

I was immediately drawn in, probably just by her creative layout. I love it! Anyway, I started to read her "behind the lens" section which is basically just her About Me... and then I watched her intro video about her (if you scroll down just a little bit on her site, you'll see it.)

I was instantly thankful that I happened upon this site. I have been thinking for the past several days about words and how I use them. I have taken other's opinions and thoughts before the Lord and honestly asked Him to reveal any traces of hidden motive or inappropriateness. I poured over the Scriptures, studying verses regarding encouragement and reading letters Paul wrote. I have sat down with some amazing women in my life and asked for even more thoughts and direction.

Because my desire is to be striving after a life of living in the likeness of Christ. Always.

Then I read Meg's About Me, and I watched her video... and I found myself echoing her words. It all started to click into place. She is a photographer, and captures life through a lens. I am a writer. A speaker. I attempt to capture life through my words, whether written or spoken.

This is what Meg says,
"There's a distinct expression that I treasure when a client sits with me to review their portraits; a look of curious disbelief as if seeing oneself for the first time. It's a countenance that seems to say, "That can't really be me..." often with tear-brimmed eyelids. It's incredible. I'll drudge through muck and mire to get shots like that. The heart of a little girl still dances inside of me; A girl on a white horse, in a white dress, dreaming about princes, and love. The child somewhere in me still believes in enchantment, and that if I find it maybe I can bottle it up like fire flies. I guess I believe there's still this sense of wonder in each of us—maybe just buried or bruised. I uncover and capture it, so you can have fire flies of your own. You're captivating, and I'll show you."


Those are her words, but I switched them around a little bit.

There is a distinct expression that I treasure when a friend/peer/mom sits with me to tell me a little piece of their story, gives me a little glimpse into the heart that God has given them; a look of curious disbelief that seems to say, "I can't believe my Father loves me that much", or "He really DOES make beautiful things out of dust. out of us. out of ME." It's a countenance that seems to say, "I did nothing, yet the God of the universe chose me before the foundation of the world to be His child. And He loves me with a special, precious, covenant love", often with tear-brimmed eyelids. It's incredible. I'll drudge through judgement and misunderstanding and disgust to speak the truth and hope of God over the people He has so graciously placed in my life. The heart of a little girl still dances inside me. A girl on a white horse, in a white dress, dreaming about princes and love. The child-like faith in me still believes in miracles, the impossible, and the amazing equipping of boldness and humility that God grants His kids. I still believe in fairy tales. I'm living in one. I am nothing, absolutely nothing, without God. He chose me to be His daughter. To be a part of the family of God. Forever. There is no love truer and deeper than that. I have the chance to bottle up just a little sliver of that hope, of that love... with my words. I really believe that everyone desires to be loved. Sometimes, that's just tattered or bruised by circumstances or experiences. I get to hear people's stories, see glimpses of their hearts... then write about my own story, the glimpses I get to see of God's heart. Then I get to send it out, write it out, speak it out... in an effort to bring all fame and glory to God... and the hope of redemption and grace, love and peace to every person I touch. The people I have the privilege to walk life with? They are captivating. Because Jesus lives in them. He breathed life into dry bones. I just get to tell them that I see that. I see Jesus in them. They are beautiful. Because God created them that way!

I serve a really, really beautiful God. One who walked the earth, blameless and without sin... but very much with full emotion and deep rooted passion for the One who sent Him.

I will continue to tell you that you are loved. That you are beautiful. That I am proud to call you friends and fellow followers of Jesus.

SO, who am I? What would be my "Behind the Script?"

I am Alyssa.
Jesus Lover.
Baby Snuggler.
Truth Seeker.
Love Speaker.

I am a writer.

Hope this gives you a little glimpse into the heart behind the words.

It's always right to be who God is calling you to be.

Happy 2012, beautiful people.

You are so loved.

~Lyss :)